Seattle Space Needle Reflection at Night

Thanksgiving in The Bubble

Capitol Market Deep Fried Turkey Sign

Being that we live in The Bubble (hey Brooklyn transplants, kneel before the true masters of conformity) and today is Thanksgiving, there are a few other things of which we can be reasonably certain:

1) It’s raining (how does it get through the dome?)

2) The streets of Pike/Pine are completely deserted since the climate-change-obsessed tourists have all flown back home on big, polluting jets … but you’re still an evil right-wing nazi if you don’t support climate change legislation. Do as we say, deplorables, not as we do. Climate change is the cause of our time, and if

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Told You So

2016 Election Results

The poor went to war so you could go to UW, and when they came back, you called them gun nuts. And racists. And homophones. And, let’s face it, far worse.

Hillary Clinton was anti-gay marriage in 2012. As was Barack Obama. Yet, you voted for the latter, twice, despite his position. When a person of lessor means took the very same position, you boycotted, cajoled, bullied, and oppressed them. Your message was loud and clear: Only the moneyed elite are entitled to opinions, and dissent will cost you your friends, your reputation, and in some cases, your livelihood.

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The Most Useless Program I’ve Ever Written … and That’s Saying Something

Perl Jam

Most people watch TV in their spare time, or drink beer, or surf porn, or surf porn on their TV while drinking beer.

I write programs. Big, compiled, GUI programs, small console scripts, and everything in-between. It’s not just a profession, it’s a hobby I’ve had since I was 10 years-old, and the net result is somewhere north of 50,000 individual scripts, programs, utilities, etc.

As you can imagine, in that time, and with those numbers, I’ve churned out my share of pretty useless crap. None of that crap has been more useless than a “script” I wrote named “jam”,

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The Amazon Treasure Truck in Westlake Park

Amazon Treasure Truck

I spotted Amazon’s latest idea, the Amazon “Treasure Truck”, in Westlake Park this weekend.

Apparently, the idea is that they have a particular product on-sale on a given day, and if you can find the truck and part with the money, you can buy whatever it is that’s being offered.

On this day, it was a FujiFilm Instax Mini 75 Instant Camera for $35. I didn’t take the plunge, but as I was standing there, a lot of other people did.

It seems to be a relatively popular attraction here in Seattle, but I guess we’ll have to

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Capitol Hill’s New Body-Shaming Statue

Donald Trump Statue on Capitol Hill

You know, I’ve never heard anyone call fauxgressives brave, and if this statue deep in “Amen Territory” is any indication, I’m not going to hear it for some time.

Yes, Donald Trump is evil incarnate. We know this because the wealthy elitists in media, politics, and academia tell us so. Especially those elitists who share a political party with none other than the venerable Ku Klux Klan.

It is these very bastions of ethics, not to mention their gentrifying offspring, who inform us that it is uncool … so very, very uncool to be a Trump supporter in 2016.

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Guns N’ Roses at Seattle Taxpayer Stadium

Guns N' Roses at Seattle Taxpayer Stadium

And they said it would never happen …

At least not in this lifetime.

Heh.

Sorry.

Looking back on the 200+ concerts I’ve been over the course of my lifetime, it would be hard to declare a “best”. After all, they’ve all been so different. And while there have certainly been smaller shows in distant years that have been more meaningful … Nirvana at the Off-Ramp, for instance … I’m hard-pressed to recall a more entertaining show, a more spectacular show, a more awesome show than Guns N’ Roses at Seattle Taxpayer Stadium on Friday night. (Yes, Century Stink,

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Do Unto Others

verizon_wireless_response_message

Hey, it worked for some guy in Russia. Well, sort of.

I guess we’ll see what happens. I mean, it’s not like Verizon can argue that these messages aren’t binding. Right?

The American court system would never stand for such a double standard.

Never I tell you.

Never.

Hey Look, It’s a Bi-Plane

Bi-Plane

Stupid vs. Evil, Round eh I Lost Count

Trump Chalk Graffiti

So, I hear around town that the dumb people have nominated Donald Trump as their party’s candidate.

Ha ha ha. Those dummies. Those foolish uneducated dummies. Those stupid sons and daughters of rednecks who grew up poor and went into the military instead of having their tuitions paid at UW or Evergreen or some other good white person institution of higher homogenous diversification which is filled to the brim with ex-patriots from lilly-white affluent suburbs.

Those stupid McStupidsters. When will they learn? When will they wise up? Big dummies. Hey dummies! Yeah, you … dummies. You’re dummies. Ya dumb dummies.

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Alice in Chains? Yeah, Right!

Paramount Neon Sign and Marquee

When I got tickets to Alice in Chains a few weeks ago, I was excited, yet a little scared. After all, I’ve never seen a bondage show before. I’m pretty vanilla when it comes to that stuff, and I wasn’t quite sure what to expect.

When the house lights dimmed moments before the show, I didn’t know what I was personally supposed to do either. I mean, do we whip it out right away, do we watch for awhile and then do so, do we wait for the money shot? Who knew?

You can imagine my surprise when

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