Seattle Space Needle Reflection at Night

Blame it on the Rain

Wettest Winter in Seattle History


I’m an avid reader of local meteorologist Cliff Mass’ Blog.  It’s an interesting mixture of weather information and brothel reviews which I find both fascinating and arousing.

Upon checking out Cliff’s place today, I learned something new.  I learned that happy endings have returned to local massage parlors.  Yay!  I also learned that this past winter was the wettest winter on record in Seattle.

No, really, I’m not kidding. This past October – February was the wettest on record. This means that every winter people have whined about up until now, have all had less rain than this past winter.

Good grief. This was nothing.

Now, when I fail to parrot the transplant “Seattle weather sucks” mantra,  I always get a fair number of people screeeeeeching … “what do you mean it wasn’t that bad … w-w-w-water … it c-came out of the sky and fell to the ground … the ground I tell you! … it was chaos … it was anarchy … oh the humanity!”

What’s really funny is that nearly everyone that complains about the weather in Seattle, has an automobile.   They don’t get a drop of water on them.  I, on the other hand, walk … well, everywhere.  To work, both ways, and everywhere else.  Uphill in every direction.   While pulling a sled filled with bricks. And dodging landmines.  And I gotta tell you, the past several months weren’t no thang but a chicken wang.  Hell, I didn’t even notice. It just seemed like normal winter weather to me.

So, this was the rainiest?  Ever?  Of all time?


Well, alright, then.

The worst part about this past winter is that we’ll have to listen to the transplants exaggeratedly whine for years to come:

“I didn’t see the sun for 3 and a half years!  I tied my canoe up outside my 12th story window, that’s how deep the water got!  It didn’t stop raining for eight months!  Not even once!  I drowned three times in December alone! I sat in my closet, crying with a gun in my mouth, oh my GOD I was sooooo depressed … my parents had to double my allowance just to give me the will to live!”

Yeah, get ready, cause you’re going to sit through some doozies in the months to come.   Once the ex-Californians learn about the record, it’s going to be a weather-whine extravaganza, as 50,000 more of them move here.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go paint my ark, which is conveniently tied up outside my 15th floor window.

No, really, it is …


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