Home of the highest prices, rudest service, and most expiredest food in all of Capitol Hill.
Despite it all, however, I love the place. It’s like the abusive stepfather with a heart of gold that I never had. Sure, it slaps me around, calls me a worthless sonofabitch, and makes me scrub the toilet with a toothbrush … but it always makes up for it by giving me the last piece of cake, a new toy, or a pat on the head.
Today, I decided to visit my stepfather. I stopped by City Market for lunch, which consisted of a customized Bat Boy and a bag of deep-fried peanuts, and as usual, it was quite good.
Now, not everyone is aware of City Market’s sandwich counter, and to those people I say, “you’re missing out”.
For about $7.00, the angry tattooed guy behind the counter (who’s no doubt on parole for biting the heads off of kittens) hands you a sheet of paper, and orders you to circle the ingredients that you want. If your order isn’t too esoteric, he’ll make your sandwich while cursing you under his breath, but take note … if your order is complicated, or if you request extra mayo … he will kill you.
No, seriously, he’ll totally end your life on the spot.
If I wasn’t so afraid of the guy, I’d go so far as to call him the Sandwich Nazi, but you soooo didn’t hear that from me.
What the sandwich lacks in service, however, it makes up for in taste. Fresh meat piled high on your choice of bread … it’s good. Damn good. A personal favorite.
The deep-fried garlic peanuts make for a tasty side order, and after weeks of opening the shells and eating the nuts, today, I was informed that they could be eaten whole, shells and all. That’s right, just pop a bunch of nuts into your mouth and swallow them whole. It’s a Capitol Hill tradition!
All-in-all, it was another fine lunch courtesy of the City Market, where living to tell about your visit is half the fun.