There’s a new mural at 10th & Pine:
On a personal note, I still have the receipt for the best $125 I ever spent.
And while I hate to use such a tragic opportunity to make a point, I nonetheless feel compelled to do exactly that.
See, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:
Go to your book collection, your movie collection, your art collection, and your music collection. Now, throw away everything made by a “drug user”. Stand there and look at what remains. It won’t be much. Stand there nonetheless,
Continue reading One Less Witch
Twice, once in 2008, and again in 2012, the Mayor of Seattle (and nearly all of those Seattleites who call themselves “progressive”), voted for a man, the President of the United States, who was publicly, and rather strongly, against gay marriage.
Not more than two years later, the very same Mayor boycotted the working-class people of Indiana for holding the exact same position as a man he voted for to become President.
Last year, several high-profile individuals lost their jobs when it was revealed that they were against gay marriage in their private lives. Once again, these people maintained
Continue reading Hypocrite
I made a resolution at the beginning of 2016. I decided to make an effort, a real effort, to just ignore the insanity around me. After all, what can I do? What can one person do when the masses have collectively gone insane? What can you do when tens of thousands of people around you start saying provably irrational things? Things like “gender is 100% determined by society, and has no basis whatsoever in biology”?
“What about chromosomes?”, you wonder, “I thought chromosomes determined ones gender? I thought XX equaled female and XY equaled male? How does society determine
Continue reading Dude Looks Like a ………… Dude?
I’m an avid reader of local meteorologist Cliff Mass’ Blog. It’s an interesting mixture of weather information and brothel reviews which I find both fascinating and arousing.
Upon checking out Cliff’s place today, I learned something new. I learned that happy endings have returned to local massage parlors. Yay! I also learned that this past winter was the wettest winter on record in Seattle.
No, really, I’m not kidding. This past October – February was the wettest on record. This means that every winter people have whined about up until now, have all had less rain than this
Continue reading Blame it on the Rain
“Why don’t you use the crosswalk!”, bellowed the Seattle Police Officer moonlighting as security for the Paramount Theater.
My companion and I looked at each other with incredulity, before both breaking into laughter.
On this night, the officer had blocked the entire sidewalk for the convenience of a few rich people, necessitating us to walk in the street to get around the obstruction. Given that I have to do this 15-20 times daily just to get to work and back, it doesn’t even register as an unusual thing to do anymore. It’s just an automatic reaction at this point,
Continue reading Answering a Seattle Police Officer’s Question
I was walking home from work on Tuesday night when some guy sauntered up beside me and said “Pssst, you need tickets?”
“No”, I replied, before looking up at the nearby Paramount Theater marquee to see who I was being offered tickets to see. Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider, David Spade, Norm McDonald (and Tim Meadows and Nick Swardson, I would find out once in the venue).
The show was starting in a half-hour, and I didn’t hold out much hope for ticket availability, so imagine my surprise when I walked up to the box office and learned that they
Continue reading A Funny Thing Happened on My Way Home from Work
I’m going to let you all in on a little something: People cannot change their gender. No, it’s true, they can’t. At least not without killing themselves.
I know, I know, this news will really piss some of you off, but don’t shoot the messenger for I didn’t make it so.
See, gender is determined by chromosomes. If you have Y chromosomes, you’re a male, otherwise, you’re a female. You can pump yourself full of hormones, change the tone of your voice, grow your hair long, get the best fake knockers that money can buy, and chop off your wang
Continue reading Biting the Hand
General Porpoise Donuts
Extended adolescence. It’s all the rage these days. And instead of shaking my fist at the infantile suburban tourists who pass through Seattle on their post-collegiate staycations, I’ve finally accepted the fact that, short of hiring a few black guys to move to the neighborhood (Sticky Fingaz from Onyx “black”, not suburban-friendly Obama “black”) I can’t do anything to make them leave. That’s right, 2016 will be the year when I finally try to live in harmony with the attention-starved kidults. After all, it’s not their fault that they’re 35 year-old soul-less blank slates, void of
Continue reading Specific Dolphin
“I am Goliath, you are David. I am a Tractor-Trailer, you are a Yugo. I am Yoko Ono, you are the Beatles.” – things that cross ones mind when looking at this bearing down on you.
After a two-year-ish absence, Seattle’s weather has made like a post-2000 college graduate and returned home. For how long is anyone’s guess, but the next 10 days appear to be a given with rain forecast for just about every day, and heavy rain at that.
As you can see by the image posted above, we’ll be on the receiving end of an atmospheric
Continue reading Seattle’s Weather Comes Home For a Visit
For the second year in a row, overwhelmingly affluent, overwhelmingly white, overwhelmingly ex-suburban, overwhelmingly gentrifying people are threatening to ruin the Westlake tree lighting ceremony. It’s a ceremony that many kids in the city look forward to every year.
Why, do they protest this event, you may ask?
Alas, the reason is fairly obvious. As an event with a large middle and working-class attendance, disrupting it keeps the protestors far away from the ruling-class and political elite, and thus, overwhelmingly safe. It also keeps it vague, which unfortunately, is the point.
Hey, BLM folks, let me ask you
Continue reading A Coward’s Christmas Carol