When I saw the headline and the accompanying animated GIF yesterday, I knew. I knew before I even checked, and I swear to you I would have bet anyone $10,000 that this incident had happened in Seattle before even taking the first peek at the article.
I knew it was Seattle, because we’re one of the few cities in the country that actively encourages the slaughter of two-wheelers through an almost complete lack of punishment for those that do.
Take a look:
This occurred roughly one block from where a man was killed by a hit-and-run driver three
Continue reading The SPD: Where Officer Safety Remains Job #1
Note that cars continue to run red lights even after the collision.
I will ask for your forgiveness in advance for this post. I’m still very shaken up. I’m still very angry. I’m still very disturbed.
I just saw a person get seriously injured, and perhaps killed.
I was walking near 6th & Stewart street when I heard a CRUNCH. I stopped in my tracks, hoping I hadn’t heard what I knew I had. When I got to the intersection, all hope evaporated. There laid a man in the street, and under the front wheels of a nearby car
Continue reading Collision at 6th & Stewart
Factually Accurate Sign
When you get down to it, I’m a liberal guy.
I support abortion, gay rights, universal healthcare, true civil rights equality, rent control, increased rights for the poor and working-class, antitrust legislation, drug legalization, etc, etc. Sure, I think the third wave of feminism is a selfish crock of psychopathic ass, and identity politics are a smokescreen for rampant classism which is the source of most bigotry, but still, only the most pre-programmed of the programmed would even think to call me conservative.
This being the case, some people are truly surprised to see me taking on the
Continue reading The Beach, Some Dogs, and My Broken Ankle
Oh dear, this is not good, no not good at all.
First we have people openly dissenting at 4th & Pine, and now black folks are failing to hail the Corporate Elite Party as saviors for nixing the confederate flag.
Maybe they noticed Democrats trying to sell them out after all.
Pffft, and you elitists assumed they were all too busy doing whatever stereotypical things that black people do. Such as not reading.
They have been, though.
That’s right, while you guys have been pandering to the gentrifiers, wringing your hands over how to make well-off whites feel
Continue reading Ruh Roh! Seattle Rex Was Right
Isn’t it great?
Isn’t it great to be one of the herd? Moo’ing in unison, bathing in the affirmations and attaboys of millions of your peers?
Why it’s positively intoxicating!
OHMYGOD there’s even a hashtag. There’s always a hashtag. This time, it’s #lovewins
How beautiful. Doesn’t that make you feel good? Love winning? Love overcoming all barriers placed before it, and emerging victorious! GOD feel those neurotransmitters plugging in and giving you the warm and fuzzies. That right there is why they don’t want you to do drugs. If you get that feeling from anywhere else, you might be
Continue reading Conformity Wins
Yoo-hoo, guess who’s got the gayest crosswalks in all the land?
A different color for everyone who’s been hit in the crosswalk this week
Just your friendly hourly reminder that Seattle supports gay stuff. Hey, did you know that Seattle supports gay stuff? We also support the gay community. And lesbians. And transgenders and people with carbonite penises. Anyway, we think you should know that Seattle supports the gays, and the gay community, and the LGBTASHWKEJWKQOUSGHZ communty, of which gays are a part. Speaking of gays, I think it should be noted that Seattle supports
Continue reading Rainbow Crosswalks and the Gay Stereotype Parade
Upper-Middle-Class Caucasians love their slogans. Boy oh boy do they love their slogans. Especially ones written on walls in random places.
Much like pissy notes on car windshields, a phenomenon as inextricably linked with Seattle as winter rain, scrawled slogans don’t require the person throwing the hissy fit to be physically present. While directing their anger toward another person or group, it allows him/her to remain anonymous, thus completely avoiding any repercussions for their display of anger.
Good God, could any one thing be more perfect for Seattle?
And so, it comes as little surprise that our
Continue reading Nouns, Motherfucker! We Got Nouns! And Prepositions Too, Biyiyatch!
This afternoon, during rush hour, a hundred or so people blocked the intersection of 4th & Pine Streets to protest something I couldn’t completely figure out.
I saw a few “black lives matter” (but not enough to keep us protestors from gentrifying them out of Seattle) signs, a couple “Radical Women of Color” signs … I kept picturing Jeff Spicoli saying “Radical! Women of color!”, and some other signs promoting ideas that the protestors don’t actually want … such as socialism. Trust me, the last thing any of these people want is for the playing field of classism to be leveled. I
Continue reading Emperor Cited for Indecent Exposure at 4th & Pine
This week, the Seattle Police Department repeatedly removed low-income and homeless campers from their adopted spot next to the I-5 express lanes, just off of Pike Street.
This is a strip of land in an area in which nobody lives, walks, nor does anything. Much like rude-yet-perfectly-legal comments, however, the site of poor people upsets the demographic to which Mayor Ed Murray repeatedly panders, which means that the poor people must go.
And so they did. A group of nearly a dozen cops walked up and down this strip of land, searching each tent, then kicking out the occupants.
Continue reading A Tale of Two Cities
I was walking down the street, minding my own business, when I heard a blood-curdling scream.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
I looked ahead of me, and the sound was coming from a kid, two maybe three years old. He was riding in a stroller that looked like a car, and his mother was trying to take him out of it.
Alas, he did not want to leave the car-stroller thing, and since this is 2015, he did not hold back in conveying his preferences.
“That’s odd”, I thought, “I’ve never seen a self-centered child under the age of 23 in Seattle.
Continue reading Parent of the Year