May 2015
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A Quick Thought for Memorial Day

The SlutWalk

Seattle SlutWalk

Today, somewhere, an affluent white woman was told that she could increase her personal safety on the streets by dressing subtly and not drawing attention to herself.

Today, somewhere, a college campus erupted in protest at the mere thought of affluent white women not being able to wear short skirts, on a ghetto street, at 2am, without repercussion.

Today, somewhere, 22 military veterans will take their own lives.

Just as they did yesterday.

Just as they will do tomorrow.

Just as they do everyday.

Today, in Seattle, no one really cared. About the suicides, that is, we

Continue reading A Quick Thought for Memorial Day

Pussy Pictures

The Cat Yawning

So, I already know that this will be the most visited post of 2015.  The internet is just that predictable.

It won’t be disappointed either.  Not when it sees that I delivered the goods once again.

See, a member of my family desperately wanted a cat, a kitten to be more specific, and after much searching, I found one, and I rescued it.

That’s right, after ascertaining the address of the cat I wished to procure, I arrived at the kitten’s former home, and what I saw was horrifying.

Flames.  The house was engulfed in them, and smoke was

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ShellNo Shame


For the love of God, will somebody please give the bourgeoise something to do. They’re bored out of their skulls, and you know what that means.

That’s right, they’re going to fuck some shit up, while pretending to do the exact opposite, and later on when it comes time to pay for the damages, they’re going to throw the proletariat under the bus.

As usual.

What are the posers doing this time?

Well … dear God, I almost can’t bring myself to type this.  I mean, there’s selfish, and then there’s “I’ll kill the planet and everyone on it

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MEattle. It Is What It Is.

Person Laying in Sidewalk

A couple of years ago, I published a cartoon titled “Caleb Calls Home” that not everyone understood. If after this post you still don’t understand, then I have only one thing to say to you:

Hi, Caleb.

The first two photos on this page are of a man I encountered while walking Downtown on Pike Street. At first I thought he was homeless, but when I got closer, I realized he was just a member of our new transplant demographic.  Those whose interactions with others have only occurred within the context of a “playdate”, and those who have

Continue reading MEattle. It Is What It Is.

Amazon Metes Out Corporate Punishment

Amazon Spanking Seattle Rex

The last article maybe wasn’t exactly the last Amazon update for awhile.  It was close, though.  I just found something out, so bear with me …

So, when Amazon cancelled my order, I figured it was a ploy to reneg on my compensation.  After all, I’d already conceded to wait, how hard would it have been to stick my order in another box and ship it back out?  Or just let the order that was on its way, continue? Just why, exactly, did I need to start over from square one, and take time out of my day to

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Concrete Barriers Necessary: Only in Seattle

KinderCare with Barricades

KinderCare with Barricades

What you see above, is concrete barriers outside of a KinderCare in Midtown Seattle.

A few months ago, an automobile failed to stop, and it plowed right through the plate glass windows.  Fortunately it was after-hours and no one was injured (except the car occupants), but had it happened earlier in the day, several children would, without any doubt, be dead.

KinderCare – Boarding Windows

For months, the childcare business had boards on the windows, but they recently got them replaced.  Then, they placed concrete barriers in front of the daycare to prevent the kids

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That’s the current front page of the CNN website.

The T-word?

Are they serious?

Can they be serious?

I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time. I had tears streaming down my face.  TEARS!

The N-word, the R-word, the G-word, the T-word, congratulations you’re all in preschool again, censored where you stand.

Since the beginning of human habitation, the elite have tried to control the speech of their inferiors.


Because they knew then what we know now.

If you can figure out how to control speech, thought soon follows.

More recently, the ruling-class has found an even

Continue reading Tears

Last Amazon Update for Awhile

Amazon Logo

So, I got Amazon’s answer to my homeless challenge.

It was ‘no’.

Damn. I thought I had a chance. They’d prefer to fight me in court than help the homeless. Even a tiny, minuscule amount. And of course, that’s their prerogative. That’s also what I was afraid of.

You always hope that when a company sees that you won’t back down, they’ll let up on you. That’s why you have to be confident and a tad bit aggressive. Sure, it’s a bit of a bluff, but bluffing is all you have against a company that large. You have to

Continue reading Last Amazon Update for Awhile

Amazon: Final Offer … $125 to the Homeless

Amazon, You hate me. Fine. I get it.

How about this?

$125 to the homeless of Seattle? The cost of only ONE of my orders. NOT a homeless charity, mind you, too many of those are scams and you can’t write this off. It’s too small. $125 to homeless people. Human beings.

No conditions about how they spend it, either.

Just because they’re homeless, it doesn’t mean that they’re children. They don’t need silver-spoon elitists fucks to make sure they spend it “on the right things”. Just as many suburban white people piss away their money on stupid shit as

Continue reading Amazon: Final Offer … $125 to the Homeless

Amazon Takes One Last Shot at Me

Amazon Logo

After ignoring my emails all day yesterday, Amazon finally agreed to make my order good this morning.

Since my deadline for the gift orders were actually tomorrow, they told me to re-place the order with overnight shipping, send them the order number, and they would credit me for the shipping.


I went back to the website to do exactly that, except oh no, what’s this, there was no overnight shipping available for my order.

I replied to the service agent to explain this development, and ….

“Wait, are you saying that after all you went through, they

Continue reading Amazon Takes One Last Shot at Me

Suing Amazon

New Amazon Tower


• I placed an order and paid extra for, and I quote, “Guaranteed Two-Day Shipping”.  (I’ve never had anything arrive in 2 days from Amazon via second day shipping, but I guess I’m an optimist.  Plus I got tired of waiting two weeks for deliveries, a time artificially extended to extract $99 more from customers.)

• 3 days later, it had not arrived as usual, so I contacted Amazon.  After a couple of bad interactions, I also left negative feedback.

• “For my inconvenience”, Amazon apologized profusely and seemingly sincerely (they weren’t), and they agreed to compensate me. They gave me

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Another Dispatch from the Streets of MEattle

Car Blocking Intersection

Who looks exactly the way that I look? Me! When I am reading, who’s holding the book? Me! When I want dinner, who always will feed me? Who’s always handy whenever I need me? Firm as a feather in all kinds of weather, Me, me, wonderful me!

-Official song of Seattle Tourists Worldwide

“Seattle Rex exaggerates.”

I know you think it. Frankly, I don’t blame you. I would think the same thing.  I have some weird tales to tell at times.  I see things that, frankly, are not very believable.

I’m aware that there’s a healthy amount of skepticism and disbelief

Continue reading Another Dispatch from the Streets of MEattle

Thank You, Ed Murray

Ed Murray

You know, I have to hand it to Mayor Ed Murray.

I’ve been giving the man hell for the past couple of weeks, but as it turns out, he has way more integrity than I had realized.

Today, Mr. Murray called a press conference to answer his critics, to call off his ill-conceived “Boycott” of Indiana, and what he said surprised even me.

“I was misguided, and I’m sorry”, Murray said, “My heart was in the right place, and I thought I was fighting the good fight, and supporting civil rights. After doing some soul searching over the past

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Understanding the Inmates

Mental Patient

That run the asylum …

It’s been a rough decade. A recent study found that, in the last decade, Americans finally lost faith in every, single, solitary institution that they used to hold dear.  Supposedly, the CDC and Secret Service were the final holdouts, but even they succumbed to reality over the past year.

Since I was young, I always strived to understand people.  Those whom I agreed with, but even moreso, those whom I didn’t agree with.  I always sought to understand, and even empathize, with those I was the most disgusted by.  Even people who did horrible

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I Apologize

Ashamed Statue

Seattle Mayor Ed Murray on Saturday announced his decision to prohibit the use of city funds for travel by all city employees on city business to the State of Indiana after the passage of S.B. 101.

The new law, which was signed by Governor Pence on Thursday, has the potential to legalize discrimination against LGBT people and others based on religious beliefs, a press release from Murray said.

“Seattleites know that discrimination has no place in our City – that’s just equality ‘101’,” said Ed Murray.

More than a dozen states this year are considering measures aimed at preventing

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The Crucifixion and Martyrdom of Amanda Knox


It’s over.

Amanda Knox has finally cast off the shackles of her oppressors, and she’s proven to the world that a rich white woman with a highly-paid PR firm behind her, and ties to rich Democratic politicians, can still be treated fairly in our cruel, cruel society.

She suffered for the sins of affluent white girls everywhere, and with a little help from some rich and powerful people, she emerged victorious.

It’s your classic underdog story.

A woman is accused of murder; uses Page 1 from the White Girl Murderer playbook and blames a black guy; is convicted; is un-convicted

Continue reading The Crucifixion and Martyrdom of Amanda Knox

Sound Familiar?


Yesterday, a woman was beaten on Venice Beach as throngs of onlookers sat and watched.

Sound familiar?

It should.  Not long ago, a woman was attacked in Westlake Park in broad daylight, and nobody stepped in to help her there, either.

The two most heavily Democratic jurisdictions in the country, yet not one person lifts a finger to help?

This is what happens when a problem can’t be solved with snarky Internet comments, or barring that, large marches where they outnumber their opponents.

Remember the Slutwalk, where dissenters were “removed” from public streets by march participants?

Hey guys, where

Continue reading Sound Familiar?

Seattle Mayor Ed Murray Escalates War on the Poor

Homeless Camp on I-5 Ramp

When a city has people living on its streets in poverty and squalor, one might surmise that correcting this would be the top priority of that city’s Democratic Party.

One would be right if that city had a Republican mayor, or any non-Democrat mayor for that matter. Using the poor to shame political opponents is the first pillar of the Democratic Party.

When that city is solidly Democratic, however, priorities quickly shift toward making the rich richer, and the poor … absent.

Just try and find a staunchly Democratic jurisdiction in this country that isn’t notorious for cronyism, nepotism, and

Continue reading Seattle Mayor Ed Murray Escalates War on the Poor

Confessions of a Hate Criminal

The Seattle Hate Crimes Task Force

As I was walking up Pike Street on Thursday night, something happened so specifically stereotypical, that I thought it had been planned.    Seriously, when it happened, I looked around, trying to spot the hidden camera, because it was all just too … convenient.

After walking several blocks, I reached the Starbucks Pretentious Suburbanite Room or Tasting Room or whatever the fuck it’s called.  As I stood at the corner of Melrose & Pike, waiting to cross the street, a BMW pulled up, and out popped three precious white women, one from the passenger seat, two from the rear seats.

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Mayor Ed Murray’s War on Tolerance & Diversity


Growing up, I was called a “faggot” more times than I can remember. Probably 10,000 times, maybe more. Come to think of it, everyone was called faggot. In fact, I doubt a single day went by when I, my friends, my enemies, and even the boys I didn’t know were called faggots.

I wasn’t gay, though. Oh sure, a little effeminate maybe. In later years, people who knew me when I was a child compared that Haley Joel Osment kid to me. I was a sensitive kid with higher IQ than most of my peers, and it caused me

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Keeping it Real

Washington State Democratic Party


To all of you who claim to be surprised by the Democrat’s latest wealth transfer bill in Olympia, well, you shouldn’t be.   After all, the Democratic Party was the party which fought for slavery in the Civil War.  The Democratic Party is the party of the Ku Klux Klan. From 1933 to 1960, the Democratic Party opposed 80% of all Civil Rights Bills.  40% of Democrats opposed the Civil Rights Act (as opposed to 20% of Republicans who opposed).

That the Democratic Party would support a bill allowing wealthy white landowners to seize more of black people’s meager earnings

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I See Your Twuuuu Colors, Shining Through

Relaxed Payday Lending

We’re a state run by the Democratic Party, and if you ask anyone around here, they’ll tell you …

The other political parties hate poor people and black people and all other minorities except wait, what’s this, payday loans disproportionately affect poor people and black people and other minorities, and our legislature just sold them to big business.

Despite this, we’ll vote for these very same people in the next election cycle.


Because we don’t give a damn about poor people or black people or other minorities. Seriously. We could not care less. We just want to feel

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Say Hello to My Little Friend

Protocol Infrared Helicopter

I’ve been critical of the media in the past.

I’ve accused them of keeping the populace scared for ratings.

For Obedience.

And to continue their master’s mental enslavement of the masses.

Not this time, though.


Oh no.

This time, the media was spot on.

See, they told you the drones were coming.

They told you that the drones were coming for you.

They told you to fear the drones, and to fear them with every fiber of your being.

And you know what?

They were right.

See, I got mine.

They used to be called “RC helicopters”.


Continue reading Say Hello to My Little Friend

MEattle Hospitality

Resutrant Sign

For the majority of human history, businesses have catered to the wants and needs of the customer.

Here in MEattle, we have turned this paradigm on its head.  Here, we run businesses for ourselves. We run them for us.  We don’t care what you want. At all.  We care what we want.  And you better fucking tip us or we will snark your ass on Facebook then hang ourselves from a cross on some national morning TV show.

Alas, I’ve all but stopped going to Hot Mamma’s Pizza because every time I do, there’s a line of people waiting

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No Shit, Sherlock

Anti-Gentrification Graffiti

Gentrification Creates Homelessness Graffiti

Here in Seattle, we like to state problems.  Repeatedly.  In self-righteous, indignant ways.

Solving those problems?

We could not possibly care less about doing so.

Solving problems takes effort, incurs inconvenience, and requires honest self-assessment.  Fuhuhuhuhuhuck that. We just want to state them.  Repeatedly.  In self-righteous, indignant ways.

If a problem can’t be solved with a pissy note left anonymously on somebody’s windshield, we don’t solve it.

I stood in Westlake Park during the $15 minimum wage rally, and I finally got up the stones to ask a nearby group if they didn’t think their

Continue reading No Shit, Sherlock

Goodbye Andy

Andy Steiner

Once upon a time, I had this friend named Andy Steiner.  Andy was a nice guy who was known around Las Vegas for driving a purple-colored Jeep that he nicknamed, shit, I don’t remember, but that monstrosity definitely had a name.

Andy was an unusual guy who moved to Las Vegas years ago to capture what he could of the American Dream.

He was also one of the friendliest, most genuine dudes I’ve ever met, and if  he had a mean or selfish bone in his body, I sure didn’t see it. That said,  as a former cameraman in the adult

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Ruh Roh There’s Climate Trouble Brewing


A generation of people who are too selfish to have children … who are admittedly “too selfish” to acquiesce to a biological norm which has been a primary driver of all animal behavior since the beginning of time … cares very, very, very deeply about the ecological health of the planet that your grandchildren will inherit.

That’s right, victims of a widespread narcissism epidemic, who are completely and utterly self-centered in all ways, make an exception to that self-centeredness when it comes to the water levels of the earth long after they are dead and buried.

They care so much, that

Continue reading Ruh Roh There’s Climate Trouble Brewing

The 12th Man Blows It

Pete Carroll

$6.7 million per year.

Six million seven hundred thousand dollars per year, to tell some other guy to run the ball into the end zone from 18 inches away.

And you can’t even do that.

You can’t even fucking do that!

You suck, 12th Man, you suck like a black hole.

See, this is what happens when I try to fucking get into anything.  I figured “if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em”, so I watched the game from beginning to end, and this was the result?


Was the result?

This is what your 12th shit is all

Continue reading The 12th Man Blows It

I Got Your “Seahawks” Right Here

Bird Shit on the Ferry Window


Said one local seagull as he passed over a Washington State Ferry.

See, this, is a seahawk:

Handsome bird, no doubt, and probably fairly adept at hunting as well.

This, however, is what is ubiquitous in Seattle, outnumbering humans by about 2:1

This, you see, is a “Seagull” or a “Rollin’ 60’s Crip” if you happen to be a pigeon.

What it is not, is a seahawk.  I’ve never seen a seahawk within the city limits of Seattle.  I’m not sure I’ve ever seen one, period. Thus, our local corporate sports team name is a not an entirely

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The SPD vs. Seattle

Red Light Runner

“Look out, suburban white woman coming through, if you get hit it’s your own fault. I’m not going to say it again … white woman right of way people! Stoplights are for negroes and poor white trash!”


It’s no great secret that Seattle is a city with a law enforcement problem. I’ve never seen a city whose residents hold such a universally negative opinion of their police force, and I’m including both New York City and Los Angeles in this statement.

I can’t speak to the opinions of citizens in the less-dense areas of Seattle (Crown Hill, Sand

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