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How You Gonna Be Mad on Vacation?

Gourmet Caramel Apple

I just finished my first 2 week vacation in roughly 10 years, and like pretty much all of my “vacations”, I spent the duration of it in my hometown.

You see, I never really understood the notion of leaving home on one’s time off.  It’s almost as if one is escaping where they live, but for my part, I’d never live anywhere I didn’t want to spend my free time.  Furthermore, I always thought it was kind of shitty to take one’s disposable income out of town to spend in some other jurisdiction.  I mean, why help someone else’s economy

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The Seattle Aquarium

Goldfish Swimming with Sea Anemone

The Seattle Aquarium

As a season pass-holder to the Seattle Aquarium, I spend quite a bit of time at this attraction.

For a city of “only” 600,000 people, ours is an aquarium befitting a significantly larger city. For the most part, we have it all.

We’ve got touch tanks, seals, sea otters, an octopus, and all kinds of weird things I wouldn’t even try to pronounce.

I took a few photos on my last visit, the results of which are on this page. (photos from a previous visit are here)

The Seattle Aquarium is open from 9:30am – 6pm

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Thoughts from Olympic Sculpture Park

Olympic Sculpture Park in Seattle

When I got back to my scooter at Seattle Center today, I realized that I had a full hour and fifteen minutes left on my parking sticker.

Not wanting to hand the money over to the parking gods for nothing, I decided to roll down the hill and spend some time at one of Seattle’s great parks … Olympic Sculpture Park.

Olympic Sculpture Park in Seattle

Olympic Sculpture Park in Seattle

Olympic Sculpture Park in Seattle

Olympic Sculpture Park in Seattle

Olympic Sculpture Park in Seattle

Olympic Sculpture Park in Seattle

Olympic Sculpture

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Bellevue, Washington

Downtown Bellevue Skyline

Today was a day unlike most others.

Today, I did something I rarely do.

Today, I spent the day in Bellevue.

Fortunately, I lived to tell about it.

Downtown Bellevue Skyline

I suppose it comes as no great shock, but the Eastside is a place I have never personally cared for. I simply could not fathom living so close to Seattle but not living in Seattle. To use an analogy I have used before, it’s like returning the ball to the 2 yard line and dropping to your knees. Why go to the far corner of the country to

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Everybody Hates Tacoma

Downtown Tacoma

Bellevue is full of soul-less, wannabe-urban losers who compensate for their small weiners by driving Aston Martins.

Renton is full of suburban soccermoms whose closest encounter with culture is driving to the Olive Garden in Federal Way.

Aberdeen is full of redneck loggers who drink all day, beat their wives, and jerk off to trailer trolls in Field and Stream Magazine.

The suicide rate in Kent is so low because committing suicide and living in Kent is redundant.

Seattle is full of pretentious fixie-riding hipsters and filthy ghetto bastards who think snorting fentanyl off tin foil in Comet restrooms makes

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Astoria For The Win

Astoria, Oregon

I’ve been made aware that Astoria, Oregon is in the running for “America’s Coolest Small Town”.

Of course, being the narcissist that I am, I attribute Astoria’s sudden fame 100% to myself.

http://www.seattlerex.com/astoria-oregon/

Few people are aware of this, but I was also responsible for that whole ‘Pearl Jam’ thing as well.

“Stone”, I said, “I know that you and Jeff want me to be your lead vocalist, but I really think you should give that ‘Eddie’ kid a chance. Sure, his voice is kind of weak, but he’s got heart and that’s what counts.”

The

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A Day at Moclips and Aberdeen

Moclips Washington

What better way to spend a Federal Holiday than a day at the beach?

On Thursday, Veterans Day, I loaded up my Maserati GX-450XYZ with bikini-clad Pam Anderson look-alikes and pointed the car toward the shore, intent on a day of beach volleyball, sand castle building, frisbee, and other assorted fun in the sun.

Imagine my disappointment when I arrived at Moclips to find the following:

Moclips Washington

WTF?

Since when does it rain in Western Washington in November?

Goddamn Murphy’s Law.

Okay, in all seriousness, these beaches are probably more to my liking than those found in Santa

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Astoria, Oregon

Astoria Pier - Sea Lions

Welcome to Astoria, Oregon

One of the things that I hated most about living in Las Vegas was the lack of a viable ‘day trip’.

It wasn’t that there were no day trips available, it was that they all more or less looked and felt the same.  When you live in Las Vegas, you can make it to the following towns and back in one day (assuming you spend 4-8 hours at your destination):

Pahrump Mesquite Blue Diamond Red Rock Canyon The Valley of Fire Lake Mead Laughlin Primm Boulder City Baker Barstow Mt. Charleston

While some of these

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Portland Oregon and Sloe Gin Fizz

Downtown Portland Skyline

Portland Aerial Tram

If that ain’t love then tell me what is …

I spent last weekend in Portland and while there … I took the tram up to OHSU.

The day started off cloudy, but by about 1pm, the clouds broke and all of the mountains were out.

During and after the ride, I took the following photographs.

I think they help demonstrate why I think the Pacific Northwest is probably the most visually attractive place on planet earth.

Portland from OHSU

Portland from OHSU

Downtown Portland

Portland Aerial Tram

Downtown Portland Skyline

Continue reading Portland Oregon and Sloe Gin Fizz