I love the Broadway Farmer’s Market. Who doesn’t? That being said, if I had to choose between the market, which operates one day per week … and the streetcar, which will operate every day … well, let’s just say that I’m going to need to up my V8 consumption to compensate for the lack of fresh produce. While I sympathize with the plight of the market, I do ...

After all this time, it’s nice to see that there are places in Pike-Pine that still welcome half-literate pygmy goat fuckers with open arms. Thank you, R Place, for you shall always be my...

I never thought much about the Starbucks logo before, but yesterday, I stopped at the “original” (colloquially, at least) Starbucks location, and I realized that the old logo was kind of cool. A topless Melusine (two-tailed mermaid) holding up both tails, beckoning people to consume caffeinated beverages is … at least … weirdly original. As I stood there gawking at the...

Come on, guys, what the hell is this all about? “Slut”? “Fuck”? What are you people, eight years old? Oooooh, you wrote a naughty word. You, you, you, rebels! Regardless of my affinity for a business, a closed one at that, I never want to see it vandalized. With the possibile exception of the architecturual abortion planned for Melrose & Pine. I don’t...

I should have known that things were a bit screwy when I passed the couple rolling enormous joints. There they sat, a male and a female, on a bench, near the entrance to Freeway Park, rolling big, fat joints from a pile of marijuana about 8 inches high. Have you ever had one of those days when things just seem off? You can’t put your finger on it, but something isn’t right. It...

“Well, I’d rather be in a Barstow motel room snorting oxycodone off an Asian hooker’s ass, but this is fun too.” Don’t you hate that moment? You know the one … the “I would liquidate all of my assets and give it all to charity if I could just turn the clock back three seconds” moment. The moment you realize that you’ve completely misjudged...

Today, while walking along Minor Avenue on First Hill, I looked to my right, spotted a bush, and immediately started giggling like a child. I’m so...

“Hello, 911, yeah, I see a man that looks like a guy I saw in a pencil sketch hanging from a door on Pine Street.” “Yeah, a pencil sketch.” “On Pine Street.” “No, I haven’t been drinking, why do you ask?” Anyway, if you see this guy, call 911. Or give him a Speak & Spell so he can phone...

Just Un Fucking Believable....

About an hour ago, I was walking down 1st Avenue, just south of The Market, when I began smelling smoke. As I continued to walk south, the smell got stronger and stronger, until … just before Union Street, I discovered the source of the odor. The source was a Seattle Weekly news stand. Yes, a Seattle Weekly news stand. There it sat, closed, yet, for some reason, on fire. As unusual as...

Oh my god, oh my god, I can’t believe what just happened! Mere minutes ago, I was sitting on my deck, reading the paper and sipping a latte when out of the corner of my eye, I saw the Space Needle just … fall over. IT JUST FELL OVER! I pray that there are no casualties, although from my vantage point, it looks like the Space Needle landed right on top of the Seattle Baby Kitten...

I recently endured the passing of someone close to me, and since that time, I’ve been generally unhappy. For the past couple of days, I didn’t even leave the house. This morning, however, I decided to get out and about to see if I could perhaps break out of my seemingly-intractable funk. I walked over to Pike Place Market, grabbed a bag of donuts, then headed down to Victor...

Know your audience, that’s what I always say. Alas, it appears that at least one enterprising Capitol Hill Real Estate speculator does, indeed, know his audience. Not long ago, this Craigslist ad was posted in my forums. I laughed, and thought “What a great prank, and only three days before April Fool’s Day. I sure wouldn’t want to be the owner of that phone number,...

It sure looks that way. I swung by the Sixth and Lenora construction site this weekend, and it looks like a name change has been...

Today, I played soccer with a dog. Sort of. Shortly after the St. Patrick’s Day Parade wrapped up, I made my way over to Westlake Park, and when I got there, I encountered a dog dressed in a Seattle Sounders jersey playing soccer with his master. Now, when I say “playing soccer”, I clearly don’t mean that the man and the dog were playing a regulation game of futbol,...

With all the talk of red states and West Seattle lately, I should be forgiven for bursting out laughing when I happened upon this truck today, in of all places, West Seattle. See, what did I tell you?...

Remember when people were sincere? Chances are, if you are under 30, your answer to this question is “No. No I don’t”. Frankly, it’s become a distant memory for yours truly. I grew up in what is arguably the last era of sincerity. Dischord, DIY, and an ethic that valued authenticity over monetary reward. My, how times have changed. Now, we have middle-class white kids...

And I don’t hate to say it. Remember this post? Well, here is an excerpt of today’s forecast from the National Weather Service: Did you catch that? Did you notice anything odd? In just two short paragraphs, there are four, count’em, four sentences beginning with the word “So”. And you all thought I was exaggerating. I’m not, though. Mark my words, within one...

The other night, as I was talking to Emmett Watson, I heard other voices speaking in the background. Pac, Kurt, Whitney (which was odd since she hadn’t faked her death yet), and another man that I couldn’t quite identify. While I couldn’t quite pinpoint the voice, I do remember what the man said. He kept repeating over and over “We’ve always been shameless about...

This West Seattle studio teaches you how to make snarky comments behind your muggers’s back once he is out of earshot. “Unhand me, you brute! Don’t force me to run home and post a negative comment about you on...

February 7th, 2012, 3:30pm, jumper on the Aurora Bridge, suicide fence be damned. SPD rolls response, no guns drawn, no tasers, no batons, no beatings … just a friendly hand, some encouraging words, and an ambulance ride to Harborview. Crisis averted. For now. I’ve been hard on the SPD lately. We all have. Today, however, I was reminded that boys in blue aren’t all bad. We...

On Aurora Avenue, at 43rd Street, just north of the cut, lies Seattle’s most opulent accomodations … the Thunderbird Motel. In 2010, the Seattle Police Department declared the Thunderbird a “nuisance property”, and shortly thereafter, it was foreclosed upon. In the fall of 2012, this fine property will be demolished to make way for 71 affordable housing units run by...

A few hours ago, the above video was posted on YouTube by buzzfeed. It shows Meg Coyle in an uncomfortable confrontation with a local woman who was upset that King 5 had attracted the Seattle Police Department, who in turn ruined a sledding tradition on Queen Anne Hill (Capitol Hill has a similar tradition). Instead of apologizing to the community when the producer pulled the shot, esteemed...

Northgate Mall is the world’s first “mall”. When the Miracle Mall (now Northgate Mall) was built in 1952, it was the first usage of the word “mall” pertaining to a shopping center. And the rest, as they say, is history. I am at the mall as I type this, looking for something edible. Posted Wirelessly from my Android...