Oct 26, 2011

Need more proof that iPeople are iBatshit? First, read this: Jobs was livid in January 2010 when HTC introduced an Android phone that boasted many of the popular features of the iPhone. Apple sued, and Jobs told Isaacson in an expletive-laced rant that Google’s actions amounted to “grand theft.” “I will spend my last dying breath if I need to, and I...

Oct 20, 2011

These are live shots. Something is being filmed at the market.

Oct 6, 2011

I just saw this while scanning for Wi-Fi networks on First Hill.

Oct 2, 2011

I headed over to the Ballard Locks yesterday. The salmon spawning season was almost over (actually, it officially ended on Friday), and I wanted to watch the last few fish heading upstream to get jiggy with it. As I neared the locks, I heard the faint sounds of a Barry White record emanating from the general direction of Lake Washington. “Awwww...

Sep 27, 2011

I live up in the sky. In order to get home, I have to take the world’s slowest elevator some 150+ feet above Pike Street, at which point I stare out a window that overlooks Downtown. I like it up here. I am at once in the middle of it all, yet isolated from the activity of the streets below. I can stare down and watch people and traffic pass beneath me, yet...

Sep 22, 2011

Yesterday afternoon, I had to get some large items from Queen Anne, so I decided to rent a Zipcar for a couple of hours. When I got in the car, I fired up the engine, turned on the radio, then immediately turned the volume knob to zero. The previous driver had tuned the radio to some kind of dance/autotune affair, and it just wasn’t my thing. Not feeling...

Sep 11, 2011

Today, I headed over to the Seattle Center International Fountain, and when I got there, I was horrified by what I found. Since it was 85 degrees outside, there were young bathing-suit-clad children frolicking in the fountain, and everywhere I looked, there were people with cameras. Some people had cellphone cameras, others had consumer-grade handheld...

Sep 8, 2011

I hate to do it. I really do. Something about banning an entire nation because of a few thousand bad eggs seems a bit draconian, and maybe even xenophobic, but at this point, I’ve been left with no other alternative. This morning, after receiving a call from my web person, I found that our server was responding painfully slowly. Figuring that the masses...

Aug 30, 2011

If you open up a store at the base of Capitol Hill, and you call it … for the sake of argument let’s say … Fedex Kinko’s — for the love of God, learn how to spell the name of the neighborhood. A market cap of $25 Billion and not a proofreader in the house. Unbelievable. This is why the Chinese own us. I’m not trying to be...

Aug 27, 2011

Earlier yesterday, I was walking down 8th Street in Downtown Hellevue when I saw something very bizarre. A clean, suburban, upper-middle-class-looking white woman and her three sons were standing on the corner of 8th St. & 104th Ave. All three of the boys were under ten years old, and the youngest (maybe four years-old) was standing in the middle of the...

Aug 18, 2011

I’m a somewhat big guy, and I have to shop for somewhat big clothes. I am 6’3″ tall, and this morning while still nude (there’s a picture you’ll want to keep with you for awhile), I weighed in at 183lbs. I will concede that this is overweight for me.  Until I hit 30 years old, I fluctuated between 150-175lbs. I’m currently...

Aug 11, 2011

Today, my travels through the canyons of bureaucracy took me to a building I like to call “The Big Dick”. The Big Dick is in actuality the Seattle Municipal Tower at 700 5th Avenue, and if you look at this building and tell me that it doesn’t look like a big penis (especially the tip, wtf?), then I submit th at you are a nun. Not one of the hot nuns that...

Aug 9, 2011

Takes me away to where I’ve always heard it could be. At least that’s what I told Christopher (Mr. Cross if you’re nasty). I just looked out toward Lake Union about half an hour ago (8:30pm), and I noticed sailboats. Lots and lots of sailboats. I’m exceptionally busy this week, and I haven’t had time to look at the calendar of...

Jul 19, 2011

One of my readers sent what she is convinced is a Bigfoot sighting in Downtown Seattle. According to her, the two creatures are of similar height, weight, hairiness, and endowment. Frankly, I don’t see it. Except for the endowment part. You know what they say: Once you go Sasquatch, you never go ……….. uh …………...

Jul 14, 2011

The Capitol Hill Block Party is still a week away, but it already managed to entertain me. “How?”, you might ask? Well, I’ll tell you. Today, I pulled up the FAQ on the party’s website, and I struck pure comedy gold. Check it out: How do I get there? The Block Party is easy to get to via foot, bicycle or bus (http://metro.kingcounty.gov). Parking...

Jun 30, 2011

Full Service my ass. I’ve gone through this checkout stand at the Pike St. QFC at least a dozen times, and I can assure you that the most I have ever gotten was a hand...

Jun 26, 2011

A new flower pot sculpture has been erected at 7th & Union, near the Sheraton. Why? By whom? I do not know. It’s an interesting piece, though. Heh, I said “erected”.

Jun 26, 2011

On Father’s Day, I watched a Slut Walk. On my birthday, I watched gay guys in nut huggers march up 4th Avenue. God, I hope there are no more holidays coming up. Since I spent my birthday chasing gay guys around Seattle, I’m going to celebrate on Monday by taking a little bit of me time. Ironically, this will also be spent chasing gay guys around Seattle. A...

Jun 22, 2011

Wanna know how I know? Check it out … they invented this completely new concept where they throw tennis shoes over a telephone wire. I know, right? Upper-middle-class white folks with pet-friendly studios and a parking space for their Prius be representin’ the 206, yo’. Before you know it, ghetto youth across the nation will catch on to this...

Jun 9, 2011

May 30, 2011

This past weekend, while taking some shots downtown, I noticed a couple of kids sitting in front of Westlake Center. Being a fan of random street life images, I snapped a quick photograph and moved on. As I was walking away, I heard someone scream “Pictures are a dollar!”. I didn’t bother looking back. I just shrugged and walked on. I kept hearing the...

May 26, 2011

Yesterday, I stopped at a downtown drugstore to pick up a few items for home. While walking down the aisles, I noticed an item on sale. It was a Seattle “My Neighborhood Tote Bag”. Intrigued, I picked up the bag to see what wonderful Seattle neighborhoods the designer had chosen to adorn the bag. Let’s see, Capitol Hill, check. Ballard,...

May 25, 2011

While other independent computer types across Seattle sit in pretentious coffee shops and admire each other’s bedhead, I choose to work in slightly less happening places. My favorite of these places is the back of the Pike Place fish market, in a corner overlooking the Puget Sound. The only problem with this spot is that it is only usable on overcast...

May 24, 2011

A couple of hours ago, I was riding my 125cc scooter in Lower Queen Anne when the tablet in my laptop case vibrated. I was expecting an important email, so I immediately looked for a safe place to stop in order to check my inbox. Near the corner of Mercer & Queen Anne, I spotted a small opening between two parked cars, and I backed my scooter into the...

May 16, 2011

My kid came home from the Central Library today toting some kind of Simpsons comic book. Out of curiosity, I picked it up and skimmed through it, only to find the following panel: Ouch. At first I was slightly offended by Bart’s dis, but then I realized that he was right. I also realized that if being a misfit from the rest of the screwed-up, unattractive,...