Badass. Just … badass.
“Promise me something”, I remind my daughter nearly every week, “when you become Mayor of this town 20 years from now, you’ll install an escalator on Pike Street, and name it after me … the Rex is a Lazy Ass Memorial Escalator … or something to that effect.”
She always agrees, but between you and me, I think she’s just humoring me.
Fortunately, the point may be moot.
Matthew Roewe, of Via Architecture, said the demolition of the viaduct will take out about 1,200 waterfront parking spaces. But the Convention Center has 1,200 parking
Continue reading The University Street Gondola?
Over the course of a typical month, I get anywhere from 10-100 photo license requests. As I have published over 100,000 photos online, this probably comes as little surprise.
While I’ve historically been extraordinarily generous with pictures, usually refusing to take money even when it’s offered, I’ve back off of my generosity in recent years, and there are a couple of reasons for this.
First of all, as Generation Me has come of age, and has taken over the requesting demographic, so has the entitlement. Several months ago, I was berated for not providing a free photo quickly enough,
Continue reading Black Like Me
I still remember the first day of my first photojournalist gig. It was almost my last. I showed up with a gigantic flash mounted atop a cheap Pentax K-1000 camera, and once the other photographers began snickering at me, I wanted more than anything to just subtly sneak out, never to show my face or my crappy gear ever again. It was in my top 10 most embarrassing moments. It was then that I realized that photography was not an acceptable hobby for poor white trash. Ditto for journalism of any kind.
As bad as it was, however, this day
Continue reading Fly With Me, Lesbian Seagull
It looks like Spike Lee has gotten himself into a bit of hot water. Last week he had some not-too-kind words for the ex-suburbanites who have taken over his childhood neighborhood.
You can read about it here: http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2014/02/spike-lee-amazing-rant-against-gentrification.html
Not surprisingly, upper-middle-class white people did not take kindly to his remarks. Take, for example, this comment from the aforementioned link:
“But explain to me how people of any color buying property instead of renting isn’t better for the neighborhood? Do you *want* the area to stay poor, the schools to not have the tax base needed to educate properly, and
Continue reading Defending Spike: The Cultural Genocide of Gentrification
Being an American consumer is a lot like being anally violated on a daily basis.
Being an American consumer is EXACTLY like being anally violated on a daily basis.
If the past two years have taught me anything, it’s that America’s glory days are so far behind us that not even the Hubble Telescope could see the last of them.
There used to be a saying, “You Get What You Pay For”, but no longer is that saying even remotely true. Instead, no matter what you pay, what you almost always get, is shit.
Folks, without the
Continue reading Amazon and Adorama: Life in a Third-World Consumerist Shithole
Like most people, I’m often conflicted over how to spend President’s Day Weekend each year.
Part of me feels like I should spend the day doing what our government intended … learning about and celebrating the life of our first president, George Washington, but that can be difficult at times.
For instance, did you know that when George Washington was twelve years old, he inherited ten slaves, and by the time of his death, 316 slaves lived at Mount Vernon, including 123 owned by Washington, 40 leased from a neighbor, and an additional 153 “dower slaves” … servants for
Continue reading PUSAfest 2014
Imagine if you were a working class honky, living in a trailer park, working in a garage by day, driving a pickup truck with a “Bush/Cheney” bumper sticker, putting on plays at night.
Think you could put on a play like this without being picketed for being “racist”?
Not a chance, my redneck friend, not a motherfucking chance.
That up there, is chosen-white privilege. You can’t do that shit without a degree from an expensive college, preferably multiple degrees, at least one being Art History so that other white people know that you’ve got money to blow, and gainful
Continue reading It’s Okay, Because They’re Affluent White People
A fossilized mammoth tusk discovered in a Seattle construction site was retrieved Friday evening from a 30-foot-deep pit to the sound of cheers and clicking from people taking pictures.
Scientists and construction crews used a crane to retrieve and hoist the tusk, which was placed on a pallet, encased in plaster and covered in blankets, to a waiting flat-bed truck. The tusk headed to its new home a few miles away at the Burke Museum of Natural History and Culture on the University of Washington ‘s Seattle campus, where it will be preserved, studied and eventually put on
Continue reading Tusk
Once, during a basketball game, I got out in front on a fast break, went up for an uncontested dunk, threw it down unnecessarily hard because I wanted to be a gangsta, shattered the backboard, and brought the rim down on the back of my head, requiring many stitches and a monthlong bandage around my cranium.
Once, like a dumbass, I went surfing in a hurricane, got slammed into a rock jetty, and presented to the emergency room with over 100 lacerations.
Once, while trying to make a rush delivery as a bicycle messenger, I blew through a red light
Continue reading Today’s Guilty Pleasure
Seahawks Parade – Fans in Westlake Park
When it’s an unprecedented event, and only a few blocks from your home … you kind of have to go.
After waiting roughly an hour, however, I forwent waving to the players as they passed by on 4th Avenue. Instead, I contented myself to celebrate my unbridled joy with what has been reported to be between 200,000-500,000 people.
I suppose it was entertaining on some level, although I’m still not sure I’ll ever fully agree with these kinds of priorities.
As it turns out, all absences from Seattle Public Schools will be
Continue reading The Seattle Seahawks Superbowl Celebration
When I lived in Olympia, one of my neighbors got a Seahawks sweatshirt from the Olympia Free Store. After wearing it only a few times, however, he promptly threw it away.
“If you don’t want it, why don’t you donate it back to the free store?”, I asked him.
“Because I wouldn’t want someone else to go through what I went through”, he replied.
I was perplexed by this response.
He went on to explain that he had only bought the shirt because it was nice and warm, but whenever he wore it, he found himself on the receiving
Continue reading The Seahawks Won! The 12th Man Didn’t.
“I am very concerned and disappointed by this verdict,” said Cantwell. “I am confident there will be an appeal to closely re-examine today’s decision. It is very troubling that Amanda and her family have had to endure this process for so many years. I will continue to closely monitor this case as it moves forward through the Italian legal system.”
Yesterday, Amanda Knox, wealthy white girl from West Seattle was convicted of murder.
You remember, Amanda Knox?
The girl whom, after being accused of murdering another affluent white-ish girl, threw a black man under the bus. The girl whose parents hired
Continue reading Maria Cantwell Says “Rich, White, and Female Still Trumps Negro”
At least no officers or “civilians” were hurt.
You know, “civilian” being loosely defined as some hapless suburbanite who finds herself inexplicably caught on the wrong side of the Seattle city line.
Remember, over 80% of Seattle Police officers live somewhere other than Seattle.
And now you know why.
According to the SPD, the citizens of Seattle are not even human.
If you think about it, it really does explain a lot.
Raise Minimum Wage to $15 Rally in Westlake Park
Yesterday, a rally was held in Westlake Park to convince the legislature to raise Seattle’s minimum wage to $15/hour.
The increased minimum wage is supported by the same people who support amnesty for illegal aliens, as well as policies which support a general increase in illegal immigration.
Alas, at its core, the rally was yet another social gathering where gentrifiers congregate to jockey for social status in an urban setting … the great irony being that they are largely the problem. I mean, do any of you at all realize
Continue reading The Rally for a $15 Minimum Wage
Home of the 12th Man
Already long ago, from when we sold our vote to no man, the People have abdicated our duties; for the People who once upon a time handed out military command, high civil office, legions — everything, now restrains itself and anxiously hopes for just two things: bread and circuses. – Decimus Iunius Iuvenalis, 140 B.C.
“Bread and circuses” (or bread and games) (from Latin: panem et circenses) is a metaphor for a superficial means of appeasement. In the case of politics, the phrase is used to describe the creation of public approval, not through exemplary
Continue reading Super Bowl Here We Come!
Last night, I spotted these wave clouds, a/k/a “Kelvin–Helmholtz Clouds” over the Puget Sound.
The Kelvin–Helmholtz instability (after Lord Kelvin and Hermann von Helmholtz) can occur when there is velocity shear in a single continuous fluid, or where there is a velocity difference across the interface between two fluids. An example is wind blowing over water: The instability manifests in waves on the water surface. More generally, clouds, the ocean, Saturn’s bands, Jupiter’s Red Spot, and the sun’s corona show this instability.
Just another relatively rare thing that happens in the Seattle atmosphere relatively frequently, and another
Continue reading Surf’s Up
Coming home on the ferry this evening, I noticed the scene pictured above, and I was overcome with excitement.
“Seattle School District test scores are up 12%!”, I thought, “Yesssss!”
I realized that I might have been wrong, though. I mean, 12 could stand for anything. Although for the number to be juxtaposed against the Seattle skyline in such a huge way, it was certainly something of awesome importance. After all, I see the skyline every day, and I’ve never seen this giant twelve before.
Ever the hopeful optimist, I thought hard about all the great things the number twelve could
Continue reading Twelve
This is what the Space Needle looked like last night at 11:34pm:
This is what it looked like at 11:48pm:
And here, 3 minutes before the fireworks show began, is what the Space Needle looked like:
And that, my friends, is how Seattle rings in the New Year.
For even more hilarity, I present to you the fireworks “show”:
Although it wasn’t terribly visible, I rather enjoyed the fireworks this year, if only to hear the tourists bitching and moaning on the way home.
“We spent four thousand dollars for
Continue reading A Very Seattle New Year