Alas, the annual Figgy Pudding Festival, highest holy day on the White Bourgeoisie calendar, went off on Friday without a hitch. Cops were everywhere, and there was not a single, solitary mohawk in sight. Woo-Hoo!
Why is Figgy Pudding so special to upper-middle-class whites and the upper-middle-class whites at heart (Asian girls I’m looking at you)?
Are you kidding?
Singing Christmas carols, on the downtown streets of a major city, to benefit the homeless, while the homeless are kept far, far away?
We’re talking urban adventure without the risk, an audience of thousands watching you sing like Whitney, and
Continue reading Whitefest 2014
Hey Dave, thanks a lot.
Thanks for selling tickets to a surprise show at 3pm on a workday.
As a 45 year-old dude with a lot of non-famous friends, one would think you’d be wise to the realities of the post-great-recession American man. You know, those tragically unhip hate-targets who bust their asses to support families, and probably represent far more of your fanbase than the current crop of staycation Seattleites, doggy daddies, trust funders, and perpetual students.
Despite this, they’re not even worthy of a fair shot at a couple of show tickets?
Well, alright then. I guess
Continue reading Fuck You Dave
Portland. A place so pretentious, that people come to Seattle for authenticity.
Portland used to be cool. Then, as the wage gap widened over the past decade, the offspring of the wealthy moved in, kicked the cool out, and before you knew it, the town was flooded with vinegar and water.
Now, you can’t walk down a Portland street without being beaten over the head by manufactured quirkiness.
“Look everyone, that guy is riding a unicycle, isn’t he quirky?”
“Look everyone, that girl has a donut-sized ear piercing, isn’t she quirky?”
Call me crazy, but Portland was way more quirky
Continue reading That Quirky Portland
From a musical perspective, I’ve lived through interesting times. Although I was but a child during some of them, I’ve been alive to witness the birth, or early years at the very least, of such diverse genres as heavy metal, progressive rock, funk, glam, disco, punk, hardcore punk, hip-hop, new wave, electronic, house, dubstep, trip-hop, noise/grunge/alternative, and whatever the fuck the last 15 years have given us (shit?).
I’ve witnessed the rise of a few of these genres first-hand, most notably hip-hop, hardcore punk, alt/”grunge”, and a regional music genre known as “Go-Go”. The latter is a genre which
Continue reading Breakin’, Boogaloo Shrimp, White People, and Hip-Hop History at EMP
I just stumbled onto my phone shots from the Walking Papers gig at the Croc last Friday.
Hell of a band. If you have the chance to see them, I recommend doing so. Opening band “The Mothership” was pretty badass too.
Continue reading Walking Papers
Last night was Mike McCready’s annual benefit concert at the Showbox. This was the 12th Annual benefit show for the CCFA (Crohns & Colitis Foundation of America) and my 2nd in a row.
So far, these shows have been fairly consistent, and always excellent. After an opening act, followed by an always-excellent jam session with local musicians, Flight to Mars takes the stage for a 90-ish minute set.
For those who may not know, Flight to Mars is a local band which mostly plays covers from classic English metal band “UFO”. While this may not sound terribly compelling on paper, believe me
Continue reading Flight to Mars 2014
Like most people, I’m often conflicted over how to spend President’s Day Weekend each year.
Part of me feels like I should spend the day doing what our government intended … learning about and celebrating the life of our first president, George Washington, but that can be difficult at times.
For instance, did you know that when George Washington was twelve years old, he inherited ten slaves, and by the time of his death, 316 slaves lived at Mount Vernon, including 123 owned by Washington, 40 leased from a neighbor, and an additional 153 “dower slaves” … servants for
Continue reading PUSAfest 2014
It’s that time of the 4-year.
Once every four years, we get a new mayor (or recycled old mayor as the case may be), and once every 4 years, Pearl Jam plays Seattle. Seeing as the world strives to achieve balance, I like to think that the latter compensates for the former.
Anyway, it seems like only yesterday that the Mother Love Bone-spinoff known as Mookie Blaylock was playing the Off-Ramp. Who could imagine that, 23 years later, the band would still be together, playing the Coliseum, only now, instead of a basketball player, they’d be named after a
Continue reading Night of the Living Grunge
Melvins at Neumos – Dale Crover Hula Hooping
“Where’s the rest of Crover and why is he hula-hooping onstage?”
These questions and more were left unanswered after last night’s Melvins show at Neumos.
On second thought, those were really the only two questions. Apparently, Dale cut his hair and started hitting the gym, and now looks downright human. And, as mentioned, during the final 10 minutes of the show, he stood front and center, and hula-hooped along to the rest of the band’s rousing cover of “Facists Eat Donuts”. If I had to take a complete stab in the
Continue reading Make Those Donuts With Extra Grease
Sub Pop Silver Jubilee – Mudhoney
“Had Sub Pop never darkened Seattle’s doorstep, how much would a 3-bedroom house on Queen Anne cost right now?”
This was the query I posed to a friend of mine yesterday.
“Twenty, maybe thirty percent less than what they cost right now”, she replied.
I thought her estimate was in the right ballpark. While Microsoft, Amazon, etc. would have fueled a housing bubble with or without the music scene, Sub Pop certainly didn’t help matters by putting Seattle on the mainstream media’s map.
This being the case, you can argue all day whether
Continue reading The Sub Pop Silver Jubilee