When I tell people that I intend to run for mayor of Seattle, they either laugh or just look at me like I’m crazy. I don’t suppose I really blame them. If they told me that they intended to do the same, I might laugh or look at them like they were crazy as well. Here’s the thing about my impending mayoral run, though … I’m fully cognizant of the fact that I will...

A few years ago, Apple sold me a $4,000 computer with a defective graphics chip/logic board. The defective part was the Nvidia 8600M GT GPU, and when it was discovered that the machine was defective, Apple refused to take it back and issue me a refund. Instead, they promised to replace the 8600M GT boards when they failed, up to 4 years from the date of purchase. Three years later, the board...

I love Pike/Pine. It’s the heart of urban Seattle. It’s the only neighborhood that, at least in my opinion, is equally part of Downtown, First Hill, and Capitol Hill. As someone who lives on the western edge of the neighborhood, it is where I spend probably the majority of my life. This is why today, I sit here, heartbroken. According to the Capitol Hill Blog...

Earlier today, after leaving Emmett Watson’s Oyster Bar, I heard a commotion at the north end of Pike Place, so I walked up to investigate. When I got there, I noticed that the “Going To Hell Preacher”, who had his young daughter in tow, had drawn a crowd, and the crowd was not happy. The Preacher had told these people that they were going to hell (hence the nickname, see...

Even though Rick Santorum and 98% of Texans claims that it’s un-American to do so, in my opinion, when a man is wrong, he should apologize. With that in mind, I would like to take this opportunity to formally and publicly apologize to the people of Las Vegas. You see, once upon a time, I bestowed the title of “Worst Drivers in America” upon the people of that city, and...

Well, I did everything I could to avoid it. I called phone support, I went to the store, I contacted the BBB, I wrote a letter to corporate, I spoke on the phone with the company numerous times, I sent another letter to corporate. All to no avail. The last straw was a final email, sent to me by an executive relations employee. This was a person with whom I had already spoken with on the phone 3...

On Friday, I was driving down Western Avenue, minding my own business, when the email app on my Galaxy Tab chimed. “Oh good!”, I thought, “My penis pump has finally shipped!” Since I couldn’t actually read the email, it was just an assumption. Obviously, I would need to verify the contents of the correspondence. Being a responsible citizen of the great state of...

Well, my friends, the posebag bloggers and their tragically hip followers are out in full force this week. I mean, look at them go. See all the anger? See all the rage? It certainly looks real, doesn’t it? You buying any of it? Some years ago, I had a quite popular website. It’s hard to believe, but it’s true. I had my share of traffic, my share of hits, my share of...

You know, they all come around eventually. The renowned breast cancer charity Susan G. Komen for the Cure faced an escalating backlash Thursday over its decision to cut breast screening grants to Planned Parenthood. Some of Komen’s local affiliates are openly upset, including all seven in California, and at least one top official has quit, reportedly in protest. Meanwhile, Komen has been...

A few hours ago, the above video was posted on YouTube by buzzfeed. It shows Meg Coyle in an uncomfortable confrontation with a local woman who was upset that King 5 had attracted the Seattle Police Department, who in turn ruined a sledding tradition on Queen Anne Hill (Capitol Hill has a similar tradition). Instead of apologizing to the community when the producer pulled the shot, esteemed...

Not long ago, I was driving in a neighborhood that shall not be named, and I stopped in front of a hospital that shall not be named. A young woman wearing a nurse uniform had flagged me down, and of course, I picked her up. As soon as she closed her door and I began moving, the woman began sobbing uncontrollably. I wasn’t exactly sure what I should do, so I reached into my center console,...

It’s 7:00am, and Nirvana’s “School” is blaring through two tiny, yet surprisingly powerful speakers. Supposedly, this song is loosely based on Kurt’s hatred of Seattle and its upper-middle-class cliques. The town which now plasters his face on every museum it has, and is now oh-so-proud to claim him as a native son. What can I tell you, I love waking up to irony. 7:30am I check my...

Ah, 2012. One second into the new year, I sat and watched the Space Needle fireworks from Capitol Hill. Afterward, I took the family back home, then headed over to a friend’s crib in Pike/Pine who had texted me for a little help. I arrived at his place to find roughly 30 people in his tiny studio apartment. About 5 of them where unconscious, and the rest were crowded around a coffee table,...

Unbelievable. Just … unbelievable. Right now, Corky from Life Goes On is sitting in a room somewhere, watching the election results, shaking his head, saying “wow, the voters of Washington sure are dumb!” After saying “no” one year ago … just one short year ago, the voters of Washington have inexplicably approved nearly the same initiative that they turned...

Yesterday, I had a couple of hours left on my Zipcar rental, so I decided to take a short trip to the “other” Seattle. West Seattle. Home of Eddie Vedder, Mark Arm, Matt Lukin, and an ambiguously gay junkie named Trent. I don’t get out to West Seattle as often as I would like, but when I do make it to the other side, I’m reminded that it’s quite possibly the most...

On Thursday, a man was hit and killed by an SUV as he was riding his bicycle through South Lake Union. That man’s name was Michael Wang, and he was hit by an SUV which did not bot her to stop. As a matter of fact, the driver has yet to be found. All we currently know is that the murderer was driving a brown SUV with tinted windows. On Friday, I wrote a post titled “Die Fucking Asshole Car...

Yesterday, for the first time ever, I dialed 911 from my cellphone. I was riding through SoDo, behind a red Jeep, when I noticed a stop light ahead. I applied my brakes, but the Jeep did not. As I rolled to a stop, the Jeep smashed into a white van in front of us, totalling the Jeep and sending shards of debris flying. I ran up to both drivers, made sure they were both conscious and moving...

I love Aberdeen, Washington, or as I call it, Far West Virginia. I always have. At one point, I almost moved there. Grays Harbor certainly has its problems, economic depression being the primary one, but it has one of the lowest costs of living in the USA, and the best climate in North America (83 inches of rain to Seattle’s 37). Most of all, the place is real. People in Aberdeen don’t...

“Can you imagine if this many people turned out for the police brutality protest in February?”, I asked my friend. “Yeah, Birk would have been prosecuted. Cobane too. We’d probably have a new police chief right now”, she said. As I stood on 4th Avenue watching the Gay Pride Parade, I realized that what she said was true. I’ve been to many Gay Pride Parades over the years, but my...

Well, it looks like the tunnel is headed for a vote, although it doesn’t really look like the vote is going to count. Yesterday, the City Council decided to proceed with a referendum which will determine whether or not the city can “give notice” to the state. If “yes”, such notice will allow them to go ahead with the construction phase of the tunnel agreements. The state...

Not long ago, the primary news source for Capitol Hill, the Capitol Hill Blog, ran a story about a man named “Joe”. You see, Joe is a man who lives in Pike/Pine, and Joe is upset that a nearby nightclub (The Baltic Room) has been increasing their noise level over the months. To try and solve his problem, Joe has called the police on several occasions, and the SPD has been trying to mediate...

From 1991 to 1994, Nirvana ruled the airwaves, Seattle became the capital of the universe, and the world hasn’t been the same since. In my opinion, it’s been all downhill from there. A video at the EMP this weekend said something to the effect of “There hasn’t been another geographically based music genre to emerge since grunge. We’ve all been waiting for one for the past 20 years,...

Over the past two days, I have consumed the best donuts I have ever eaten in my life. I say this without an ounce of hyperbole. I like Krispy Kreme, and Dunkin’ Donuts are just fine, but both Top Pot Hand-Forged Doughnuts and Mighty-O Donuts are true “gourmet” doughnuts that stand head and shoulders above the national chains. After eating both, I realized that they do have a...

Built in 1985, the Columbia Center is the 7th tallest building in the USA, and at 932 feet, it is the tallest building in the entire Pacific Northwest. The building has 76 floors, 46 elevators, and the antennas on the roof bring the total height to 967′. While the Space Needle is Seattle’s Statue of Liberty, the Columbia Center is our Sears Tower. Our Empire State Building. ...

“Screeeeeeeech!” That was close. Damn close. While sitting at a stoplight on Saturday, I almost got nailed from behind by an SUV that was cruising inexplicably fast into a red light. To her credit, the very concerned lady got out of the car to explain herself to me. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t see the light, the sun was in my eyes!” “I know,” I said with a surprising lack of anger,...