Seattle Space Needle Reflection at Night

Thanksgiving in The Bubble

Being that we live in The Bubble (hey Brooklyn transplants, kneel before the true masters of conformity) and today is Thanksgiving, there are a few other things of which we can be reasonably certain:

1) It’s raining (how does it get through the dome?)

2) The streets of Pike/Pine are completely deserted since the climate-change-obsessed tourists have all flown back home on big, polluting jets … but you’re still an evil right-wing nazi if you don’t support climate change legislation. Do as we say, deplorables, not as we do. Climate change is the cause of our time, and if

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Fresh Meat

A couple of weeks ago, we went to Pike Place Market to grab some food from the Market Galbee Korean place. When we got there, we were suprised to find that it was no more. In its place was a new food stand called “Pike’s Pit BBQ”.

“What is this?! I don’t like change!!”, I called out, at which point I closed my eyes and held my breath until the gods or whoever put things back the way I had grown accustomed to them. When I opened my eyes, everything was restored to its previous state, so we got

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Specific Dolphin

General Porpoise Donuts

Extended adolescence. It’s all the rage these days. And instead of shaking my fist at the infantile suburban tourists who pass through Seattle on their post-collegiate staycations, I’ve finally accepted the fact that, short of hiring a few black guys to move to the neighborhood (Sticky Fingaz from Onyx “black”, not suburban-friendly Obama “black”) I can’t do anything to make them leave. That’s right, 2016 will be the year when I finally try to live in harmony with the attention-starved kidults. After all, it’s not their fault that they’re 35 year-old soul-less blank slates, void of

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Starbucks Reserve Roastery & Tasting Room … wait … what?

It’s been said, often by me personally, that the TV show “Friends” killed the American city.

Decades of white flight left inner-urban areas relatively diverse and downright affordable. Then, ‘Friends’ gained an audience, and before you knew it, there was a coffee shop on every street corner, and every other rental ad touted its proximity to nearby coffee shops, if it didn’t simply mention the TV show by name. I actually saw scores of ads that looked something like this:

“3br, 2ba, close to nightlife & coffee shops. Great for roommates. It’s just like Friends!”

For the urban working-class,

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Sky City

I’ve got this thing where I want to eat at every restaurant in Rexville Seattle (basically the extended boundaries of my neighborhood), regardless of cuisine, price, or quality. I’ve been talking about doing this for years, which means I’ll never actually do it, but we all need goals. Were it not for goals, I never would have snorted an eight of meth in an Aurora Avenue motel room while being blown by an ambiguously gendered prostitute. Setting the goal is always the first step toward completion.

 

In furtherance of said goal, last night, I chose the Space

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How You Gonna Be Mad on Vacation?

I just finished my first 2 week vacation in roughly 10 years, and like pretty much all of my “vacations”, I spent the duration of it in my hometown.

You see, I never really understood the notion of leaving home on one’s time off. It’s almost as if one is escaping where they live, but for my part, I’d never live anywhere I didn’t want to spend my free time. Furthermore, I always thought it was kind of shitty to take one’s disposable income out of town to spend in some other jurisdiction. I mean, why help someone else’s

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The Pike Grocery Grand Opening (and a Pissed-Off Rant About Nothing in Particular)

Pike Grocery at Pike and Boren

Pike Grocery at Pike and Boren

Yesterday was an exciting day for yours truly. It’s a day I had been eagerly awaiting for months.

Yesterday, Pike Grocery finally opened its doors, and as soon as my ferry docked, I beat a hasty path to its doors. What I found left me quite pleased.

A grocery, a convenience store, a deli, oh my.

Beer, wine, salty snacks, milk, produce … Pike Grocery has everything an aging hipster could possibly want, and then some … such as 3, count ’em, three different types of creme soda. It’s nirvana for the perpetually-21,

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My Bambaloni Has a First Name …

Michou - Zeppole and Bambaloni

Sunday morning usually means brunch at Pike Place Market, and yesterday was no exception.

Shortly after 10, I headed over to Piroshky Piroshky, and this time, I decided to try something different. While I usually get Oscar’s Star or some kind of breakfast concoction, on this day, I decided to broaden my horizons.

Mozzarella, Broccoli, and Mushroom Piroshky

After eyeing the menu for a few moments, I decided on the mozzarella, broccoli, and mushroom piroshky, only because it sounded kind of weird, and after taking a bite, I realized that it tasted like it sounded. Weird. It wasn’t bad

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Capitol Hill Cuisine

Cock Flavored Soup Mix

Moon Over Mike’s Tavern

Full Moon of Seattle Skyline from Magnolia

Last night, to “celebrate” the completion of a certain project, we headed up to Ballard for a bowl of Mike’s chili.

Some people celebrate with champagne, others with cocaine, but that high-brow, pretentious stuff doesn’t fly with me. If ground beef and kidney beans are good enough for cowboys and hobos, then it’s good enough for me dammit.

On the way up 15th Ave, en-route to the Ballard Bridge, I looked back and spotted a full moon hanging over the Seattle skyline.

“I need to make a quick detour!”, I exclaimed before veering on to the Magnolia Bridge and

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