Q. What do you call the painted lines at city intersections where pedestrians are designated to walk?
A. Parking Spaces
When a friend of mine moved here about 3 years ago, this was one of the first things he mentioned.
“What’s the deal with the crosswalks? Cars always wait in them. I’ve never seen that before.”
He’s used to it now.
Of course, if you say anything to these drivers, they’re outraged. Absolutely outraged by your rudeness. They don’t see what the big deal is.
Oh, and would it surprise you to learn that, when the shoe is on
Continue reading Test Your Seattle IQ
KinderCare with Barricades
What you see above, is concrete barriers outside of a KinderCare in Midtown Seattle.
A few months ago, an automobile failed to stop, and it plowed right through the plate glass windows. Fortunately it was after-hours and no one was injured (except the car occupants), but had it happened earlier in the day, several children would, without any doubt, be dead.
KinderCare – Boarding Windows
For months, the childcare business had boards on the windows, but they recently got them replaced. Then, they placed concrete barriers in front of the daycare to prevent the kids
Continue reading Concrete Barriers Necessary: Only in Seattle
Typical Seattle Driver
Don’t worry homocidal suburban drivers. The SPD still wuvs you.
See, drugs are bad for you, but having a 5,000lb steel bullet roll over your head is full of 8 essential vitamins and minerals!
Besides, laws are for poors and minorities.
Do your thing SPD! Make the city safe for gentrifiers worldwide! Take it from Ed Murray the Tiger, they’re GREAAAATTTTTTT!
SEATTLE – Seattle and federal law enforcement announced 95 arrests Thursday in a major crackdown on drug dealing and other crimes in the city’s downtown core.
Open air drug dealing has been an ongoing issue
Continue reading Running Red Lights Still Okay, Though
Who looks exactly the way that I look? Me! When I am reading, who’s holding the book? Me! When I want dinner, who always will feed me? Who’s always handy whenever I need me? Firm as a feather in all kinds of weather, Me, me, wonderful me!
-Official song of Seattle Tourists Worldwide
“Seattle Rex exaggerates.”
I know you think it. Frankly, I don’t blame you. I would think the same thing. I have some weird tales to tell at times. I see things that, frankly, are not very believable.
I’m aware that there’s a healthy amount of skepticism and disbelief
Continue reading Another Dispatch from the Streets of MEattle
So, like, the HOV motorcycle cop is there every morning now, and every morning, he catches a metric assload of HOV violators. He nabbed six at one time this morning (pictured above).
“But how could this be?”, you ask, “You already warned us about this cop.”
Well, Believe it or not, there are a few dozen people in the Seattle area who don’t read Seattle Rex.
And they are paying very dearly for their stupidity.
If you run across one of these people, feel free to ridicule them. They deserve it.
Continue reading Six People Who Wish They Read Seattle Rex
I took a few monorail shots this weekend. Some of them are on this page. Some of them aren’t. Here are the ones that are.
Trains are buses for white people.
Monorails are trains for tourists.
Cutting right through the heart of Belltown and Midtown, as tourist’s trains go, Seattle’s is by far the coolest in the world.
At $2.25 each way, with no round-trip discount, it’s also the most profitable.
Continue reading Monorail Shots
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Seattle could easily be the richest city in the world. Since everyone more or less agrees that we have the world’s worst drivers, and since they’re not leaving anytime soon, all we’d ever need revenue-wise, is to ticket said shitty drivers.
It would be like printing money.
Let me say that again.
IT WOULD LITERALLY BE LIKE PRINTING MONEY!
Well, somebody in City Hall must have heard me, because for the past week, local law enforcement agencies have been on a mission. Everywhere I look, cops are pulling
Continue reading Shooting Fish in a Barrell
I could start, author, and maintain an entire blog about shitty Seattle-tourist drivers, and have enough material for multiple articles daily. Hell, sometimes it feels like that’s exactly what I’m doing now.
It’s difficult to explain to non-Seattleites why the topic of our drivers is such a passionate topic. You just sort of have to live here to understand.
The photos on this page are courtesy of a friend of mine that lives on Bainbridge Island. One of his family members is in Harborview, which means that for the past week, he’s had to commute back and forth through Downtown
Continue reading The Strongest Swimmer Takes a Spin
The 2nd Avenue Bike Lanes arrived last week, and so far, from what I’ve seen, they’re getting decent usage. Especially for being so new.
It’s just too bad another cyclist had to die before they appeared.
A couple of years ago, when Mike McGinn proposed putting more bicycle lanes on Seattle streets, news website comment sections erupted with anger. People who don’t live in Seattle, and almost exclusively people who don’t live in Seattle, feel very strongly about Seattle having bike lanes.
“If they paint more bike lanes, that’s it! I’m not going to Seattle anymore!”,
Continue reading Better Late Than Never
“Toto, I don’t think we’re in Kirkland anymore … there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home …”
“Bicyclists should be licensed and required to carry insurance!”, squawked the friend of a friend.
It’s an argument I’ve had an unbelievable number of times, always with a suburban resident, always with a sports fan. Not that I have anything against sports fans, I’ve just come to realize over time that they tend to be loyal to things and ideas which may or may not be supportable with a logical argument.
“Actually, motorcyclists aren’t even required to carry insurance in
Continue reading Seattle Drivers: Still Bad After All These Years