Apr 7, 2013

Ah, spring. Clouds lift, flowers bloom, Rainier peeks out from behind the clouds, and almost as if on queue, Washington State Ferries begin to fill up with the seasonal bane of everyone’s existence … tourists. “Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello!”, shouted the toddler, mere inches from my face. “She just learned how to say...

Feb 2, 2013

For many years, I made a living as a bicycle messenger. It was a tough job, but in those days, the days before email became ubiquitous, it was one of the few jobs which afforded young proletariat adults a quasi-legal way to make a better-than-minimum wage. Winter was especially harsh, but due to a reduced number of messengers on the streets that time of year,...

Sep 29, 2012

Today is the end of an era. The 40 year-old Downtown Seattle Ride-Free Zone is no moe. I can hear it now: “Yay! It’s about time those free-loadin’ nigras, homeless people, and all around losers start payin’ ther fayer shayer! I ain’t no socialist! With the exception of public schools, public roads, public police, public fire...

Sep 17, 2012

The First Hill Streetcar is coming right along. Which begs the question, with all the buses that run along Broadway … why a streetcar? Well, the other week, I flipped through a book called “Stuff White People Like”, and I finally found the answer. 147 Public Transportation That Is Not a Bus 147 Public Transportation That Is Not a...

Aug 17, 2012

I just got off the ferry, and this morning’s ride was slightly less than typical. As we were nearing the middle of the Puget Sound, a voice came over the speakers: “Would the captain of the Tacoma please come to the bridge …” Not the biggest deal in the world, as I’ve heard this request at least a couple of times before. About 3...

Jul 7, 2012

Tracks for the First Hill Streetcar have finally made their way to Broadway. It’s both an ugly thing, and a beautiful thing.

Jun 15, 2012

On this spot, last week, another cyclist was killed by an automobile driver. His name was Nap Cantwell. I actually heard this collision take place, and I’ve been just sick about it ever since. It is why I purposely waited at least one week to mention it. Had I written about it the next day, I probably would have … well, let’s just say that I...

May 29, 2012

I once entertained the thought of moving to Bremerton. It was a fleeting thought, but a thought nonetheless. The reason the notion crossed my mind wasn’t so much my love for Bremerton, but rather, the idea of commuting by boat. I figured that if I lived in Bremerton, I would have to take the ferry almost every day, and that thought appealed to me. Think...

May 28, 2012

Most people call it the “Capitol Hill Light Rail Station”, some call it “The Capitol Hill Link Station”, but I’m not a fan of either of those terms. I mean, is there a Capitol Hill heavy rail station that I am not aware of? What is a “Link” anyway? In my opinion, “Subway” is a universally-recognized,...

Apr 23, 2012

I love the SLUT. I love the SLUT so much that I ride it at least once a week, and usually more often. The SLUT is so fun and satisfying, that I have a huge smile on my face each time I get off. I also ride the South Lake Union Trolley on a frequent basis. South Lake Union Park, The Guitar Center, Scoot About, Whole Foods … it goes to a lot of places...

Mar 24, 2012

Just thought you should know. I’m a 20-something douchebag, I drive a Saab 9000, and I have Oregon Plate CL-75384. So, what makes me an asshole, you ask? Good question! I’ll tell you … You see, today, in order to impress cumdumpster (my pet name for the girl riding shotgun), I made an illegal left turn from southbound 1st Avenue onto Pike...

Mar 15, 2012

“Don’t get off the bus ’cause there ain’t nothin’ for you here!” As I pulled into Tacoma at 7 o’clock this morning, those immortal words kept going through my head. I did get off the bus, though … figuratively speaking … and all I have to show for it are these lousy Tacoma photographs. Oh well, you get what...

Mar 13, 2012

Even though Rick Santorum and 98% of Texans claims that it’s un-American to do so, in my opinion, when a man is wrong, he should apologize. With that in mind, I would like to take this opportunity to formally and publicly apologize to the people of Las Vegas. You see, once upon a time, I bestowed the title of “Worst Drivers in America” upon...

Mar 6, 2012

During the course of any given day, I encounter between 5 and 10 wrong-way drivers. While all cities have such drivers from time to time, their sheer volume is something that is quite unique to Seattle. If I personally encounter five to ten per day, imagine how many of these drivers truly exist. Moments ago, I stumbled upon an accident scene in LQA. I...

Feb 29, 2012

Just before a vote on the downtown tunnel was taken, I informed everyone that the tunnel was a terrible idea. I informed everyone that, instead of alleviating downtown traffic, the tunnel would result in far worse traffic. Mere days after I laid out my arguments, however, the multi-billion dollar tunnel was approved by a voter margin of 60% to...

Dec 29, 2011

Today, tolling began on the 520 Bridge. As a person who crosses the bridge 5, maybe 10 times per week, you might think that I dutifully purchased a ‘Good to Go’ pass yesterday, the day before, or even months ago. Were you to think this, you would be wrong. “But why, Rex? Do you not realize that a Good to Go pass saves you one dollar and fifty cents every...

Dec 23, 2011

The weight of the average American is now 185lbs, which means that I now weigh nearly ten pounds less than the majority of you. Here’s the thing, though … I’m six three. I am in the top 4 percentile in height, yet, somehow, someway, I am in the bottom 50% in weight. That, my friends, is bizarre. It’s not like I don’t eat, either. ...

Dec 11, 2011

“License bicyclists!”, they scream on local news sites in a desperate attempt to divert attention from the real problem. The problem which is: The slaughter of our people at the hands of automobile drivers. Last week, a Kirkland bicyclist was killed at the hands of an intoxicated driver. Read the comment section of that article for absolute proof...

Oct 29, 2011

Today, The Viaduct opened early like we all suspected it would. Said a friend of mine that has lived in North Seattle for 43 years … “These construction schedules are nothing more than PR bullshit. They always bid them long so they can finish up early and bask in the accolades of a grateful public.” In any event, shortly after the road...

Oct 24, 2011

Let it never be said that the individual car driver in Seattle does not duly kick his/her own ass on a daily basis. They oppose bicyclists. They oppose mass transit. They oppose most anything that does not involve getting in a car and driving from Point A to Point B. Then, when construction of any kind is initiated to repair the infrastructure that they have...

Oct 21, 2011

Well, we all knew it was coming. Starting this afternoon, the Viaduct is closing for about a week, and this development is going to royally fuck me sideways with a yardstick. I’ve been at my temp/part-time/however-long-I-feel-like-doing-it job for two weeks now, and I take the Viaduct at least 4 times each day. As a matter of fact, it’s my preferred...

Sep 19, 2011

It’s been a rough summer for bicyclists. We’ve had three high-profile deaths over the last few months, and a few which have received a lessor amount of coverage. In each of these cases, newspaper and TV comment sections have lit up with people blaming the bicyclists for their own deaths. “We’re not getting the real story, I’m sure it was the...

Aug 13, 2011

You know, being a Seattle taxpayer can feel a lot like being a crack whore. You get fucked, fucked, and fucked again, and when you are laying there, orifice bleeding — your pimp slaps you across the face because you didn’t get fucked enough. Hell, I would go so far as to say that being a Seattle taxpayer is worse than being a crack whore, because we...

Jul 30, 2011

On Thursday, a man was hit and killed by an SUV as he was riding his bicycle through South Lake Union. That man’s name was Michael Wang, and he was hit by an SUV which did not bot her to stop. As a matter of fact, the driver has yet to be found. All we currently know is that the murderer was driving a brown SUV with tinted windows. On Friday, I wrote a post...

Jul 28, 2011

Today, I handed nearly $75 over to the State of Washington. Why? I’m not entirely sure. I certainly didn’t get anything in return for it. You see, I have a 200lb scooter, which weighs less than most American people. A scooter that cannot ride on the freeway, cannot ride on bike paths, cannot trip stop lights (I have no choice but to run reds frequently),...