In related news, a new shocking report has been released which finds that grass is green and, oh yes, apparently the sky is blue as well.
In explaining our rating, the report above makes a few observations, which you have to read between the lines to understand (it’s wrapped in advertiser-friendly explanations about weather and density).
What they actually say is that our poor drivers are the result of a high influx of transplants from fair-weather Podunkville , who are used to suburban/rural roads and clear, sunny weather. It notes that these people are far out of their element,
Continue reading The Most Un-Surprising Report Ever Issued
I’m not sure when opening day will be, but the trains themselves are rolling.
Kind of exciting if I must say so.
For a “liberal” city, we sure have a lot of BMWs, Lexuses, and other vehicles the price of which could end homelessness in this city. Like climate change, someone else is always supposed to make the sacrifice.
I took the picture above just incidentally. I wasn’t going for the car in the foreground. If you look really close, you can see the new First Hill Trolley in the background.
It wasn’t until today that I noticed that, sure enough, the car in front of me was parked in the crosswalk while the pedestrian “walk” light was lit. As usual.
Continue reading Why?
What you see above is not an exception. It’s the rule.
On most days, when walking to or from work during rush hours, the majority of intersections are blocked by automobiles/trucks/buses. Quite openly and unapologetically, I should add. In fact, the few times I’ve said anything, or even looked annoyed, I’ve gotten honked at, flipped off, yelled at, etc.
Because it’s my fault they’re blocking the intersection, I have no right to complain. After all, they’re them. People who have not once in their lives been told “you’re wrong”. People who are, without any hyperbole whatsoever, convinced
Continue reading The Strange Life of a Seattle Pedestrian
Note that cars continue to run red lights even after the collision.
I will ask for your forgiveness in advance for this post. I’m still very shaken up. I’m still very angry. I’m still very disturbed.
I just saw a person get seriously injured, and perhaps killed.
I was walking near 6th & Stewart street when I heard a CRUNCH. I stopped in my tracks, hoping I hadn’t heard what I knew I had. When I got to the intersection, all hope evaporated. There laid a man in the street, and under the front wheels of a nearby car
Continue reading Collision at 6th & Stewart
Q. What do you call the painted lines at city intersections where pedestrians are designated to walk?
A. Parking Spaces
When a friend of mine moved here about 3 years ago, this was one of the first things he mentioned.
“What’s the deal with the crosswalks? Cars always wait in them. I’ve never seen that before.”
He’s used to it now.
Of course, if you say anything to these drivers, they’re outraged. Absolutely outraged by your rudeness. They don’t see what the big deal is.
Oh, and would it surprise you to learn that, when the shoe is on
Continue reading Test Your Seattle IQ
KinderCare with Barricades
What you see above, is concrete barriers outside of a KinderCare in Midtown Seattle.
A few months ago, an automobile failed to stop, and it plowed right through the plate glass windows. Fortunately it was after-hours and no one was injured (except the car occupants), but had it happened earlier in the day, several children would, without any doubt, be dead.
KinderCare – Boarding Windows
For months, the childcare business had boards on the windows, but they recently got them replaced. Then, they placed concrete barriers in front of the daycare to prevent the kids
Continue reading Concrete Barriers Necessary: Only in Seattle
Typical Seattle Driver
Don’t worry homocidal suburban drivers. The SPD still wuvs you.
See, drugs are bad for you, but having a 5,000lb steel bullet roll over your head is full of 8 essential vitamins and minerals!
Besides, laws are for poors and minorities.
Do your thing SPD! Make the city safe for gentrifiers worldwide! Take it from Ed Murray the Tiger, they’re GREAAAATTTTTTT!
SEATTLE – Seattle and federal law enforcement announced 95 arrests Thursday in a major crackdown on drug dealing and other crimes in the city’s downtown core.
Open air drug dealing has been an ongoing issue
Continue reading Running Red Lights Still Okay, Though
Who looks exactly the way that I look? Me! When I am reading, who’s holding the book? Me! When I want dinner, who always will feed me? Who’s always handy whenever I need me? Firm as a feather in all kinds of weather, Me, me, wonderful me!
-Official song of Seattle Tourists Worldwide
“Seattle Rex exaggerates.”
I know you think it. Frankly, I don’t blame you. I would think the same thing. I have some weird tales to tell at times. I see things that, frankly, are not very believable.
I’m aware that there’s a healthy amount of skepticism
Continue reading Another Dispatch from the Streets of MEattle
So, like, the HOV motorcycle cop is there every morning now, and every morning, he catches a metric assload of HOV violators. He nabbed six at one time this morning (pictured above).
“But how could this be?”, you ask, “You already warned us about this cop.”
Well, Believe it or not, there are a few dozen people in the Seattle area who don’t read Seattle Rex.
And they are paying very dearly for their stupidity.
If you run across one of these people, feel free to ridicule them. They deserve it.
Continue reading Six People Who Wish They Read Seattle Rex