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Don’t Talk to Me Like a Child

Sprite Basketball Commercial

Back in the day, I played basketball, and in those days, I said this line at least 1,000 times … especially when an insult was cast in my direction.

Today, I stumbled upon what I consider to be my favorite commercial of all time. No, really, Taylor, imma let you finish, but this is the greatest commercial of all time! Of all time!

It’s a commercial which could be applied to so many facets of American life … but let’s face it, the industry will never touch 90% of them.

Anyway, without further ado …

The 2014 Westlake Center Christmas Tree

2014 Westlake Center Christmas Tree

 

Westlake Center is to Seattle what Rockefeller Center is to New York City, and as you might imagine, the Westlake Tree is our version of the Rock Center Tree.

Of course, ours is far nicer, given that it’s located in Seattle. Say what you will, but I can’t imagine a few extra feet of tree compensating for the fact that you’re not in the nation’s greatest city. In fact, the only thing I would say that NYC has over Seattle, is that it has fewer New Yorkers. Ever since Hipster Number One discovered Brooklyn, natives have been leaving

Continue reading The 2014 Westlake Center Christmas Tree

A Cowardly Christmas Spawns a Wake-up Call

Child Bullying Cowards

Child Bullying, minority displacing, priapism curing, emotionally-stunted, psychopathic, pathetic cowards on the lookout for grown-ups or anyone who might be able to fight back.

You know, I’ve taken on the local protest groups quite a bit in the pages of my blog, but I’ve always done so as a protestor myself, and there’s always been at least some element of tongue-in-cheek expression in my opposition. Despite my criticism of their sincerity, I’ve always maintained some level of hope that I was wrong about them, and I’ve always felt a tiny bit of, even if it is not always palpable,

Continue reading A Cowardly Christmas Spawns a Wake-up Call

Sound Community Bank Helps You Kick the Shit Out of Geese

Simply Seattle Poster

Oh, and they also simplify business banking.

I ran across this poster on 5th Avenue last week, and it really piqued my curiosity.

See, I don’t know why one would want to run through Gas Works Park, kicking the shit out of Canadian Geese.

Hold on …

Wait …

Wait a minute …

Wait just a minute …

Yes …

Yes I do …

Yes I do know why one would would want to do such a thing …

Remember this from a couple of years back?

http://www.seattlerex.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/canadians_invade_seattle-seattlerex.mp4

Well, alright.

It’s settled, then.

I’m opening an account at Sound Community

Continue reading Sound Community Bank Helps You Kick the Shit Out of Geese

Happy Thanksgiving!

Turkey Fucker

I thought this video was appropriate for the occasion.

God Bless Us Everyone.

That Quirky Portland

Portland is Now

Portland.   A place so pretentious, that people come to Seattle for authenticity.

Portland used to be cool.  Then, as the wage gap widened over the past decade, the offspring of the wealthy moved in, kicked the cool out, and before you knew it, the town was flooded with vinegar and water.

Now, you can’t walk down a Portland street without being beaten over the head by manufactured quirkiness.

“Look everyone, that guy is riding a unicycle, isn’t he quirky?”

“Look everyone, that girl has a donut-sized ear piercing, isn’t she quirky?”

Call me crazy, but Portland was way more quirky

Continue reading That Quirky Portland

Dear Sweet Leaping Mother of Jesus the Jew

Fuck! What The Fuck? What the Bloody Fuck?

What the?

What the fuck did I just see?

What the fuck did I just see?

What the fuck did I just see?

What the fuck was that?

What the fuck was that?

What the fuck was that supposed to be?

Why?

Why?

Who?

Why?

What the fuck was that?

It was like, a 3-headed gila monster or something.

It was like some three-headed creature from the depths of hell. It had three heads, and they were all weird. Like, bad-acid-at-work weird.  Like getting a random erection while watching Pokemon weird.  Like, stoned and suddenly having to poop, but

Continue reading Dear Sweet Leaping Mother of Jesus the Jew

I Win

weird_youtube_dudes

 

 

*clunk*

 

(oh, uh, that was me dropping my keyboard intentionally after winning the Internet)

Dancin’ Fools

Dancing Fools

While sorting through my photos this evening, I was reminded of a couple of guys who stole the show last weekend at the Bite of Seattle.

During one band’s set, two guys from the audience had proceeded to, uh, dance.

While they were obviously being goofy, they actually had talent. For instance, the guy in the white did a dive, transitioned into a breakdance two-step, then did a few baby swipes before getting back up and spazzing out.  The guy in blue, well, the guy in blue reminded me of who Flava Flav would be were he white.

http://www.seattlerex.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/DancingFools.mp4

Each

Continue reading Dancin’ Fools

Daily Dose of Awesomeness

Dominique Young Throw it Down Screenshot

You’re welcome.