Why is this:
Bright Glare from Sun in Downtown Seattle
Better than this?:
Cloudy in Downtown Seattle
I don’t know. I only know that it is. Lisa Van Cise, M.J. McDermott, Paul Deano, and every other Seattle meteorologist told us so, and they would never lie to us.
As a matter of fact, I was watching the weather forecast this past weekend, and Lisa Van Cise told us that it would be dry, except for a few pockets of “pesky rain”.
Yeah, “pesky rain”.
You know, the stuff that gives the Pacific Northwest its clean air, lush greenness, and ample drinking water?
Yeah, that stuff.
According to Lisa, it’s “pesky”.
Who knew?
Anyway, I was driving down 2nd Avenue yesterday, squinting into the sun, trying beyond all hope to see the road in front of me. I put on my sunglasses and pulled down the sun visor, but it brought little relief. The fall/winter sun hangs very low on the Seattle horizon, and the net result of this is intolerably painful glare … I mean happy, fun, beautiful glare. Right weather guys?
While I was ambling along, I suddenly caught the faint glimpse of an outline right in front of me.
Oh no … screeeeeeeech!
That was close.
I literally came within an inch of hitting a homeless man who was shuffling along, mid-block. If you drive in Downtown Seattle with any frequency, you know the people I am talking about. Crosswalks and crossing lights have no meaning for these folks.
While my heart was pounding, the man that I almost hit did not flinch. He just kept shuffling to the other side of the road, completely unfazed by the fact that I had almost killed him.
I, on the other hand, was shaken up. So shaken up that I drove directly home and waited for some clouds to move in before heading back out. The oppressive glare made it just too dangerous to operate a motor vehicle.
When I got home, I gave some more thought to a situation that has confounded me for a long time.
You see, I value the clouds of Seattle. Especially in the winter, when they provide much-needed protection from glare and keep our overnight temperatures 10-15 degrees warmer.
Every local news station and every single local meteorologist, however, insists that they are evil. They insist that they, I, and you want sun, sun, sun, and more sun. Even when it’s 45 degrees outside.
Why do they say this?
I don’t know.
I’ve asked each and every one of them multiple times, but they ain’t saying. I’ve made the beneficial case for clouds on repeated occasions, but they absolutely, positively refuse to give me one reason … just ONE semi-objective reason that I am supposed to detest the clouds as much as they do.
After another day of thought, however, I think I’ve finally figured it out.
You know that homeless guy I almost hit yesterday?
Well, maybe, just maybe, Lisa Van Cise wanted that guy gone. Maybe, like most wannabe Californians, she hates bicyclists, pedestrians, and everyone else whose lives are endangered by the winter glare. Maybe she just hates riff-raff. People who lack the disposable income to spend at the Aston Martin dealership in Redmond.
Maybe M.J. McDermott, Paul, Sam, and everyone else in the Seattle meteorological community hates us all too.
At this point, it’s the only explanation that makes sense. It also explains why they don’t want to tell us why we should love the winter sun. The truth is far too cruel. Too un-PC.
So there you have it. After months of investigation, a conclusion has finally been reached, and that answer is:
Lisa Van Cise hates homeless people, and she wants them to die.
Case closed.
As much as I hate driving in it, I do enjoy a bit of winter sun. Mainly because for about 3 months out of the year, I go to work in the dark and come home in the dark. A little sun on my lunch break can be a nice thing.
However, I will give you that driving in the morning and afternoon during the winter pretty much blows because you are constantly blinded if you’re going into it (which, in the winter, can be an hour or more of setting/rising sun.)
Oh Jesus H. Leaping Christ on a Pogo Stick:
Van Cise blocked me on Twitter because of this post.
That guy from KOMO came on my blog to blast me last month, and he even created a Twitter account just to flame me, but I laughed the whole time.
The King5 folks think they’re oh-such-serious journalists. Her sun-worshipping has become a tongue-in-cheek running joke here, and the lady could have some fun with it, but the stick up her ass just won’t allow it.
An obscure local weather personality takes themself so seriously that they are above some good-natured ribbing.
Unbelievable.
Just un-freaking believable.
It’s local weather, you aren’t curing cancer. Get over yourselves, folks.
Enjoy your 15 water skiing squirrels segments per year you humorless twats.
Yeah…maybe you should just move somewhere else that never comes out of the fog. The vast majority of us love the sun when it appears here. BTW, I am a native NW resident. As for the homeless dude you almost hit, he probably hoped you would take him out of his misery. But no, you had to be a “hero.” next time, help him out and hit the gas.
Yeah…maybe you should just move somewhere else that never comes out of the fog. The vast majority of us love the sun when it appears here.
There is no more overcast large city in the USA than Seattle (although Pittsburgh and Buffalo are remarkably close), and I haven’t found the second statement to be overwhelmingly true. (statements on the Internet claiming to represent the opinions of the “vast majority” of people should always be met with an abundance of skepticism)
I like warmth as much as the next person, but being blinded by a low-hanging sun when it’s 35 degrees outside does absolutely nothing for me.
Given that most people are bundled up, you’re not even getting any Vitamin D out of the deal.
I think the supposed craving for sun in the bitter-cold is purely a social phenomenon.
Countries with the least amounts of winter sunshine — places like Norway, Finland, and Sweden, are some of the most devloped and literate countries with the highest self-reported rates of contentment.
Face it. Given the social acceptance to do so, Seattleites will gleefully whine about anything.
Having been born around here, we locals look forward to those rare occasions when we get the winter/fall sunshine. As for the aimlessly wandering street person,sorry they interrupted your inattentiveness Lisa. One note: Not all homeless people are street people and not all street people are homeless. Lisa,I once thought you were a refreshing look to a market dominated by the Rebecca Stevenson(Vanna White) look. I’m sorry I was wrong,looks are more like Phylis Diller in her later years and the attitude is like that of Russ Limbaugh. Lisa you should move to perhaps to Ellensburg where incestuous opportunities avail, or even Walla Walla where few homeless clutter the streets. To bad you turned out to be such a disappointment.