Never Again! (okay, maybe again)

BMW Dealership Pike Pine Seattle

All hail the liberation of Pike-Pine!

The BMW Concentration Camp, where thousands upon thousands of good, upstanding people were sentenced to years upon years of hard douchebaggery, is finally coming down.

In its place will be … wait … what? … oh fuck me … another douchebag dormitory?

Really?

Details of the new project are on the Capitol Hill Blog, and the development also has its own gratuitous and useless (a sign of things to come?) Flash-based website.

Since segments of the current block are abandoned eyesores, this had the potential to fall under the “anything is an improvement” category, but it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen.

While the architects (Weber Thompson) are based here in Seattle, the developers (Wolff Co.) are based in car-centric Arizona, which means that this block is soon to become yet another car-centric square on some wealthy developers’ Monopoly board.

190 vehicle spaces are expected to be built on this plot of land, and for that reason alone, I would like to extend a hearty “fuck you” to Wolff Co., and I would like to go on record as wishing them the very worst in all of their future endeavors.

If the choice is between an abandoned, graffiti-covered building, or additional 190 cars on Pine Street … I’ll take the spray paint.

Alas, money talks, so all of you “I want to live in the city but not really” folks are about to get another residential option with which to impress the folks back in Kirkland.

“Yo dawg, wanna come over to my crib at Harvard and Pine? Yeah, on Capitol Hill, dawg! Yeah, the hill, son, that’s how I roll! We can walk up to 12th and get some brewskis when you get here. Yeah, walk, homey, that’s what us city people do, haven’t you seen ‘Friends’? Let me know when you get here and I’ll buzz you into the garage, you can park in my guest space.”

Fuck our lives.

2 comments

  1. wafflesnfalafel /

    Come on – this will totally stimulate the local pusher and prostitute economy. It will be almost as good as belltown! You know you can’t get decent weed or hos in Kirkland.

  2. Victor /

    Ahaha! I don’t live in Seattle, or even near it, but you have got to be the best damn blogger ever. And I totally agree that cities should be designed to be pedestrian friendly not car friendly. Therefore, I live in the wrong states.