Nightmare on Aloha Street

When the citizens of Seattle decide to do something, it is rare that they do it in a half-assed manner. Instead, they are very likely to pour their heart and soul into the endeavor. This is why Seahawks Stadium is widely regarded as the most supportive in the USA for both football and soccer. It’s why we have massive parades when something as inconsequential as the freaking season changes, and it’s why we break world records for walking zombies. Regardless of the activity, if the people of this town don’t intend to go all out, they don’t bother doing it all.

Halloween is no different.

For those who may not be aware, the intersection of 17th Avenue & Aloha Street in Northeastern Capitol Hill is one of the very best places in all of inner-Seattle to trick-or-treat. Every year, a two-block stretch of the avenue is closed to traffic as houses in the area pull out all the stops to scare the hell out of visitors while giving them a case of acute diabetes. Chainsaws, skeletons, horror movies projected onto the front of houses … it’s a beautiful thing.

We walked up to said intersection tonight, and while the crowd was light when we first arrived, we quickly found ourselves trick-or-treating side-by-side with 500 of our closest friends. We spent about two hours begging from houses on The Hill, and suffice to say that we should not have to expend a single dime on junk food for the next 12 months.

Now if you will excuse me, I need to comb through a mound of candy to check for razorblades. My facial hair is getting a little long, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to pay Gillette $8 for three goddamn cartridges.

Happy Halloween.