“This 7″ Tablet is great!”, I told the Samsung rep, “I really like it. But …”
I paused, feeling a little embarrassed by what I was about to say. I realized that it needed to be said, though. After all, honesty is always the best policy.
“I feel a little odd blogging on a screen that’s shorter than my member”, I continued, “It’s a guy thing, you wouldn’t understand”.
The woman thought for a few moments, then said, “I understand, Rex, let me see what I can do.”
She proceeded to take a few measurements, then she hopped in a cab to make her 7:30 flight back to South Korea.
It’s nice being the world’s greatest blogger. People will do anything to make you happy and the perks are endless.
Several months passed, and today, I got a call from Seoul.
“Did you get it?”, she asked.
“Get what?”, I replied.
“We sent you something that might make you feel more comfortable in your daily blogging endeavors”, the Samsung rep said excitedly, “we were able to beat your measurements by a full millimeter!”
“Let me take a look”, I said, and with that, I went down to the mail room.
As soon as I flung open the door, the mail clerk looked up and exclaimed, “Rex, you have a big package! A very big package!”
“Yes, I know”, I replied, “but did anything come for me in the mail?”
“Let me check”, she said.
I waited for about 5 minutes, and then I heard a loud *CRASH*.
“Are you okay?”, I yelled.
“Yeah, I’m fine, Rex, I just tripped over your package … “, she replied, “but I don’t see anything addressed to you back here.”
“Look again”, I commanded.
“Okay, lemme see, WAIT!”, the clerk exclaimed, “Here it is! I got it. I have your package right here in my hands! Boy, is it heavy and …. oh, I’ve got a box back here for you too!”
I went into the next room, and sure enough, the clerk had a big box. Far bigger than I was used to handling. She also had a delivery, and it was addressed to me. I grabbed my package while she held her box, then I retired upstairs to see what I had received in the mail.
When I got to my office, I clawed and tugged at my package until I was completely exhausted, and after waiting awhile to re-build my strength, I finally opened my mail to find …
A 10.1″ Samsung Galaxy Tab
Someone once asked me if I could write a five hundred word dick joke disguised as a blog post.
Well, try as I might, I’ve come to the conclusion that the answer is no.
No I could not.