Swine Before Pearls

Well, Rachel the Pig is back “home” again, but before she was fastened to a Pike Place sidewalk, I decided to support the Market Foundation’s tour by paying respects at Westlake Park first.

“What’s the big deal about this pig, Rex?”

Nothing, nothing at all. It’s escapism. You have your football games and church services, and I follow bronze pigs around town, taking pictures of them because it makes me forget for three minutes that my mother is dying of cancer, that people in Japan are homeless, that our health care system is crap, and that the City Market is enforcing the Patriot Act.

A few times each year, I allow myself a few completely inane diversions for the sake of my mental health. People stand around and say “Why is he making such a big deal about this?”, but I just shrug it off and do my thing. When I have these little diversions, it’s a bonus if I can do some good, and I thought giving the pig some minor pub might help a person or two who benefits from the Market Foundation.

As a final gesture in all of this, I was going to close out the tour with my first donation ever to the Market Foundation.

As it turns out, Seattle schools were out for some kind of “Professional Development Day”, so I figured we could have a little family thing where we all went down and put some money in the pig for the first time. For someone that does not believe in charities, this was a big deal.

I distributed fivers all around and as we were ready to leave the house, the following tweet hit my Android:

“Councilperson Sally Clark makes the 1st donation after @RachelthePig’s return to @pike_place today http://ow.ly/i/9j0I #RachelReturns“

Oy.

Talk about a buzzkill.

I’ve made 5 posts about this pig, have gone out of my way to photograph it, and I am not alone. Dozens of o ther Seattleites took the time out of their day to do the same, and they posted some really great pictures over the week on the various social media services.

Then, at the very end, when the little tour culminates, they make sure some City Councilperson gets to make the first donation before the unwashed masses were “allowed” to make their donations?

I wasn’t feeling it.

Look, I have nothing against this Sally Clark chick, I’m sure she’s a really great human being, but I am tired of this phony, insincere political nonesense. I’m sick of politicians trying to make everything about them.

More than anything, however, I am disappointed in the Foundation. That was a really lame way to say “Thanks for your support, commoners”.

They should have picked one of the tour supporters, people who showed up at the most stops and uploaded the most photos. The Foundation should have asked one of their social media followers if they wanted to be a part of the festivities. I’m sure it would have made a working person happy to be able to tell their grandchildren that they were the first to put money in the pig back in 2011.

Or maybe, just maybe, give some tourist a cheap thrill. My kid still fondly remembers ringing the opening bell for the Olympia Farmer’s Market last summer.

But, no. It had to be a politician. It had to be glad-handing and elitist bullshit as usual.

Therefore, I decided to let them have it. Let the City Council Members support the Market Foundation. After all, the councilpeople are who are important.

I’m curious, though.

After the media attention vanishes tomorrow, just how many donations do you think the Council Members are going to make?

My guess is … not many.

Just like me.

Instead of going over to drop way too much money in a gigantic piggybank, we went over to Unconventional Pizza and grabbed a few slices instead.

Fortunately for us, the staff at Unconventional were happy to take our money right away. We didn’t have to wait behind a councilperson or anything. The pizza was good, and I left satisfied and with an empty wallet.

Sorry, Rachel.