Seattle Space Needle Reflection at Night

The Most Useless Program I’ve Ever Written … and That’s Saying Something

Most people watch TV in their spare time, or drink beer, or surf porn, or surf porn on their TV while drinking beer.

I write programs.  Big, compiled, GUI programs, small console scripts, and everything in-between.  It’s not just a profession, it’s a hobby I’ve had since I was 10 years-old, and the net result is somewhere north of 50,000 individual scripts, programs, utilities, etc.

As you can imagine, in that time, and with those numbers, I’ve churned out my share of pretty useless crap.  None of that crap has been more useless than a “script” I wrote named “jam”, which lacks a shebang on the first line, thus requiring that it be invoked by the interpreter as an argument … in this case, the Perl interpreter. I happened to run across this “script” today quite by accident.

What does this “jam” program do, you may ask? Well, it does this:

Perl Jam

For those of you who may have missed the 1990’s, this is what the “script” is referring to:

Yes, it’s quite stupid, I agree.  My ‘perl jam’ brain fart up there with a daemon I once wrote named “mattd”, or, as you may have surmised, “Matt Daemon”.

I hearby endeavor to watch more TV and surf more porn in my spare time.

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