Today, I headed over to the Seattle Center International Fountain, and when I got there, I was horrified by what I found.
Since it was 85 degrees outside, there were young bathing-suit-clad children frolicking in the fountain, and everywhere I looked, there were people with cameras. Some people had cellphone cameras, others had consumer-grade handheld cameras, and still others had gigantic zoom lenses.
Good God, The Seattle P.I. was right!
Seattle Center is completely overrun with child molesters!
I tried to summon Seattle Center security, but there were no guards to be found. I tried to find an SPD Officer, but they were also absent. Contrary to what they said two weeks ago, it is obvious that the authorities in our city have all but abandoned the welfare of our children!
Fortunately, the Seattle P.I. is on the case. They are the only paper in town willing to openly publish photographs of suspected perverts, and because of that, I would like to take this opportunity to give the Seattle P.I. carte’ blanche to use the photos in this post to help track down these potential abusers.
Everyone pictured on this page was taking pictures of children at the Seattle International Fountain between Noon and 3pm today. If you recognize any of these people, please contact The Seattle P.I., Seattle Center Security, or the SPD at once.
Together, we can make a difference.