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The Seattle Rex 2012 Voter’s Guide

Well, I voted.

I voted for a few existing candidates, abstained from a couple, but mostly, I wrote myself in. “Rex” in some spaces, “Seattle Rex” in others, depending on what I felt like at the moment. Both are accurate, and historically, this is what I’ve always done, usually to a fair amount of criticism.

“You’re throwing your vote away!”, “you’re making a mockery of the process!”, “you’re not making a difference!, “you’re going to let the worse guy win!”, I’m told.

Every couple of years, people tell me this as though I’ve never heard it before. When they do, I turn to them, and I say “Maybe, but at least I’m not a coward.”

Unfortunately, they’re the norm. You’re the norm. We’re a nation of cowards.

There are few things in this world more cowardly than voting for “the lessor of two evils”, and if you want to talk about a wasted vote, it’s voting for evil. No vote could be more wasted.

You see, folks, a candidate knows not … cares not … whether you hold your nose when you vote. A vote is a vote. All or nothing. Black or white. 100% or 0%. Win or go home.

You cannot begrudgingly vote for a candidate. A begrudged vote and an enthusiastic vote count exactly the same. If a candidate could chose a million begrudged votes, or 100,000 enthusiastic votes, which do you think he’d choose?

When you hold your nose and vote, you are being used as a tool. A bitch. A punk. A whore. A crusty tampon with a single, filthy purpose, soon to be tossed in the nearest waste receptacle.

It’s a wasted vote if ever there were one.

You see, Democrats and Republicans are different factions of the same party. The psychopathic-by-definition “person” that is the large corporation owns and controls both of them. Every year, the corporate-owned media presents to you two corporate-owned candidates, spends two years convincing you that they are “different”, and then gives you a ballot on which to choose one of these two candidates. This is done to give you the illusion of choice. It’s done to keep the people under the impression that they, and not big business, are in control of the nation’s destiny.

The problem is … it’s a sham.

Before appearing on the ballot, each candidate is vetted to make sure they will tow the line. They can say whatever they way, but as long as they take the money when it’s time to take the money, everything will be a-ok.

Sure, each year, certain big businesses still have a preference of which status-quo candidate they want to see win, but they know full well that they can live with the election of either.

“Permit me to control the money of the nation and I care not who makes its laws.”

– Mayer Amsched Rothchild

When you the individual, when you the citizen vote … those who pay the bribes don’t truly care which way you vote … so long as you vote for one of their guys. One of the guys on the payroll.

Make no mistake about it. When you vote for one of these guys, you are doing exactly what you are accusing me of doing. You are throwing your vote away. On top of it, you are voting for evil, and you are perpetuating a corrupt duopoly that will forever enslave you, your children, and your children’s children.

You’re voting for psychopathic greed, the result of which will be even lower wages, lower standards of living, more monopolies, more outsourced jobs, perpetual war, diminished human rights, and an ever-disappearing middle-class. That is what you are endorsing. Every time you vote for the “lessor of two evils”, you’re voting for your own oppression. You are the working-class factory assembler, voting for the Republican who has promised to ship his job overseas.

I can hear you now. “But, but, but, Rex, if I don’t vote for the lessor of two evils, then the greater of two evils might win!”

Yes. Yes he might. And you know what? Good.

If that happens, then that’s exactly what needs to happen.

If your abstinence from an evil vote means that a greater evil takes office, then and only then, has the difficult path to recovery begun.

Nobody ever said that progress was easy. Nobody ever promised you that it would be convenient to get rid of corruption. To the contrary, it’s usually very, very hard. Look at the American Revolution, the Civil War, World War II … progress has always come at the expense of comfort. At the expense of convenience. It takes years of hard work and suffering.

Once upon a time, Americans sacrificed their lives to improve their government, now we won’t even sacrifice low gas prices. Now, people will vote for evil so long as it doesn’t disrupt the football game. They’ll vote for corruption so long as two men can marry each other. They’ll vote for very bad men, so long as abortion is kept legal.

These issues, these litmus-test issues are the bait that is thrown out every few years with which to catch one-issue voters, and like flies to shit, every 4 years, we circle our turd.

This will never beget change.

You see, before we can clean house, we have to hit rock bottom. We need the greater evil to completely wreck the nation. Then, and only then, will there be an awakening of even the most apathetic Americans. Only when things have gotten so bad that it hurts every last man, woman, and child in this country … will the people say “no more”, and cast off the shackles of their oppressors.

“What oppressors?”, you say, “Rex, I have a good job, health insurance, a condo on Capitol Hill, two cars, and two parking spaces to put them in. Those Eastside developers sure know what I want! Life is good for me. I have beer in the fridge, and hey, when the going gets rough, daddy’s always there with a pat on the head and a check in the mail.”

Well, my friends, just wait, for your hardship is coming. The privileged are always the last to get hit, and some, the few, the 5, maybe 10% can escape it altogether, but unless you’re in the very top group … a dick is in the mail, and it’s addressed to your ass.

Eventually, the trendy barista jobs are going to take a hit too, and when that happens, it’s too late. Neither Mitt nor Obama are going to give a shit about you when daddy can’t afford $35,000/plate fundraisers anymore, and those sympathetic folks at The Stranger aren’t going to give you a job if you’re really poor. Oh no. Talking the talk is one thing, but walking the walk? Ewwwwww. “Get this loser out of my office and bring me a recent UW Journalism grad who wears a keffiyeh … bonus points if she smokes pot and licks pussy … we’re alternative goddammit, not poor!”

I digress.

Voting for the lessor of two evils ensures evil in perpetuity. It assures that nothing will ever, ever fundamentally change. It ensures that, year after year, people will have just enough hope to prevent a widespread shakeup of our political system.

And that’s what they want. “They” being the wealthy businessmen who own every politician on the duopoly ticket.

He who sacrifices good government, for slightly-less-than-evil government, does not deserve good government.

“He” is you. Most of you, at least. You’re a bunch of bitches. Punks. Whores. Three days from now, you’re going to go to the polls, pull the lever, and vote for 4 more years of corporate cock up your ass. After all, The Stranger told you to. They have a “cheat sheet” you know.

The election of 2012 is right around the corner, and you all are well on your way to getting the government that you deserve. And … after getting the government you so richly deserve … the rest of us are going to have to listen to you complain, day after day, for the next 4 years. Wah wah wah.

No sympathy, though.

Don’t blame us. We didn’t vote for evil. You did. Eat your shit sandwich and smile, motherfuckers, because you did this. You, you, you. That person in the mirror.

The true independents of the world know right now, that you fully and completely deserve every shitty thing the government is getting ready to do to you. The next 4 years are going to be bad, but they’re going to be fair, because you asked for it. You voted for bad. You sacrificed real, long-term change, because you were afraid that it could be worse. You sacrificed a better, less-corrupt nation, for some fad, first-world cause. For your own selfish convenience.

On November 6th, you will get the government that you deserve, it’s just too bad that, once again, I, and my family and friends, will also get the government that you deserve. It’s why democracy doesn’t work, and it never will.

It is, then, with futility, that I ask you. Implore you. Beg of you. Not to vote for evil on Tuesday. Don’t vote for a psychopathic-corporate-owned candidate. Don’t vote for evil. Don’t throw your vote away. Don’t vote for the lessor of two evils. The lessor of two evils is the worst, most cowardly, most destructive vote you could ever cast.

Instead, vote for yourself. Or your neighbor. Or the best, most honest, most upright individual that you can think of. Vote for the greater evil if you absolutely have to.

Or, do like I did. Use my cheat sheet. My voter’s guide.

Vote Seattle Rex on November 6th.

For damn near everything.

3 comments to The Seattle Rex 2012 Voter’s Guide

  • bobgreysr

    You are throwing away your vote if you aren’t voting third party. I myself voted for Virgil Goode because he makes a lot of sense about some of the issues we believe in like immigration for example.

  • Not a Hater

    I will be voting for Gary Johnson on tuesday.

  • Pipeguy

    Hey Rex, did you disable your donation option on your website? if so , why? also, got a message from your webmaster saying monthly contributions were/are disabled….comments?

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