Seattle Space Needle Reflection at Night

Washington Drivers Are Fantastic

I just got home from a trip down Pike Street, and I almost got taken out, ironically, in a manner very similar to that on Dexter Avenue two weeks ago.

As I was sitting at the stoplight at Pike Street and Broadway, a straight-up Gangsta G in a silver BMW pulled up beside me in the right turn lane, blasting the shitty autotuned rap selection of the day.

When the light turned green, he hit the gas, and swerved in front of me, causing me to grab both brakes hard and swerve to the left.

Little did I know that he did me a favor.

After recovering from my swerve, I rode behind Gangsta G down Pike Street, watching as he tried to cross the double yellow line several times to pass cars in front of him.  I guess he was late for a ho’ smackin’ or something.

When I got to Minor Avenue, still heading west, a white car made a left from the stop sign and smacked directly into a black car that was heading east on Pike.  Just drove right into it.  He dented the car, knocked a piece of the bumper off, and knocked the hubcap off.  This is a picture of the victim’s car:

Victim's Car on Pike Street

Victim's Car on Pike Street

Were it not for Grandmaster Fuckwad cutting me off, I estimate that I would have been in the exact spot where the black car had been hit.  The white car would have run into me, and I probably would not have survived.

Fortunately, no one was hurt in this accident because both drivers were protected by 3,000lbs of steel.  The fact that everyone in Seattle would need to surround themselves with 3,000lbs of steel to prevent death from the negligent actions of others is nothing short of an atrocity.  A holocaust of those who do not worship at the alter of the oil companies.

If every automobile driver was required, as they should be, to spend 1 year on two wheels before getting a license to drive in the city, the streets would be far safer than they are now.  You simply cannot opt not to pay attention while on a bike/scooter/motorcycle.  You are hyper-alert, because you can’t collide with anything without serious injury to yourself.  You don’t need points, and you don’t need fines.  If you don’t pay attention, you pay with your well-being.  This is why motorcycles are not required to be insuranced in Washington State.  When you have skin in the game, you are your own insurance policy.

In any event, for all of you horrible, horrible drivers in the State of Washington, and there’s a metric shitload of you out there … enjoy your $3 billion tunnel.

You’ve earned it.

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